money and free time
It was a dark windy night…no hang on, it was a sunny Saturday afternoon when my wife and I, OK my wife, decided we should have a baby.
Obviously terrified by the prospect, I kept calm by hanging on to the belief that years of drink, drugs and cycling would have rendered me functionally sterile, and I’d have at least few dirty months to get used to the idea.
We did it twice (yes I’ve had full sex) that day and I bleedin’ well scored a direct hit straight away.
8 years later and spare cash is a distant memory, a legend that perhaps I only dreamt about during a fever.

Actually, more an expensive 3.25 minutes (combined) than a whole weekend.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 13 May 2010, 15:20, 11 replies)

Pretty much my story
Except my soon-to-be-ex wife got pregnant and had our little lad 9 months to the day after the wedding, me thinking the same as you, I've got at least a year to have fun with her. Much as I love the little fella, I can't help but think I was used as a sperm donor rather than a long term partner. Still, the cake was nice.
( DeadEyeDick, Thu 13 May 2010, 16:01, closed)

Gestation is about 9.5 months in humans
People always say 9 months for brevity.

If it was actually to the day, then either your little boy was born a little early, or he was conceived a week or two before the wedding.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Thu 13 May 2010, 16:30, closed)

oh fuck off smart arse.
This is B3ta you know.
( DeadEyeDick, Thu 13 May 2010, 19:40, closed)

38 weeks
from fertilization to birth, on average, according to the internet. Which is not 9.5 months.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 13 May 2010, 22:09, closed)

The clock starts ticking
on the first day of her last period. So if she conceives (for example) 14 days after it started, then immediately she's 2 weeks pregnant, with 38 left to go.

Here speaketh the voice of experience.
(WillI'mNot logs in twice a year, every year, Fri 14 May 2010, 0:52, closed)

Well, I was just looking out for his interests.
The baby might have been someone else's.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Wed 19 May 2010, 17:23, closed)

that belief was wrong
Always use contraception.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Thu 13 May 2010, 16:16, closed)

I should have faked my orgasms
.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 13 May 2010, 16:42, closed)

Bet you haven't had sex in the past 8 years
There's an expression to the effect that men use marriage as a way to get sex and women use sex as a way to get marriage.
(Barnetboy, Thu 13 May 2010, 16:47, closed)

^ This.

(WillI'mNot logs in twice a year, every year, Fri 14 May 2010, 0:52, closed)

2 sets of twins
nuff said.
(Kip, Thu 13 May 2010, 17:06, closed)