Tailgating Ford Ka
What is the top speed of a Ford Ka that is three foot off your rear bumper in the fast lane of the A1 ?

101 mph

Once you've overtaken the pack of lorries and pull back over, how annoyed does the girl driving get if you then drive at 101.1 mph as she is trying to overtake.

Absolutely bloody furious, I learnt some new words that day. I think me smiling and waving didn't help.

I hate people tailgating.
(Yellow Car is now red, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 17:54, 14 replies)

Try turning your headlamps on...
I find that sometimes puts tailgaters in a right old panic as they think its the brake lights!
(radio_shak has questions, got answers, on, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 19:07, closed)

I'm more daring
I hit the brakes for real and slow down.

Over here liability reads that if you rear-end someone and it wasn't because they swerved in front of you- that you were following and you hit them- it's your fault, no matter what.

I drive an old beater. If they total it they pay for it, and for anything else that might happen as a result.

Many a time I've seen the cell phone go one way and the latte another as they suddenly grip the wheel and blanch...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 30 Jul 2008, 19:52, closed)

or
try tossing up an egg 12 inches at a 60 degree angle towards your left hand side from outside your right hand window
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 19:54, closed)

I've thought about
bouncing a variety of things off of windscreens. The only problem is, over here anything thrown from a car is classified as a "missile" and his highly illegal.

I've considered keeping a cup full of gravel in the car anyway so I can just toss a pebble- and if I get pulled over, I can claim innocence as I've already tossed the gravel out the window...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 30 Jul 2008, 20:11, closed)

its OK
as long as you don't get caught

What about a plastic bag filled with poo?
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 20:22, closed)

my personal best for dealing with a tailgater
was when I was speeding on the north circular in London, going about 75 in a 40 zone.
Some fuckstick came and hung off my arse throughout my overtaking manoevre, so I just slowed down.
to a standstill.
All the cars I had been overtaking whizzed past me and the tailgater on the inside, and he was so close to me he was unable to undertake me.
Once I saw him slip in to reverse, I burnt off at 70 or so, and the cunt never managed to catch me up :)
(big fat cocks, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 20:25, closed)

Can a ka actually go that fast?
She must have overwound the elastic band on that thing or been pedalling like buggery.

I am thinking of getting one of those LED displays for the back of mine so I can scroll a selection of messages across it. Endless possibilities there.
(Prof. Moriarty put his foot in it on, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 21:28, closed)

yeah
Make it say "Police! Stop!" That'll shit em up :)
(Miggyman, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 22:44, closed)

Revenge
Back in the days I had a tailgater through most of North London on a very very hot day.

Pulled up at the traffic lights on Edgware Road and he pulled up next to me, windows down, sounds on (Duran Duran probably!) and studiously staring ahead.

I saw that my elder brother was furiously shaking a can of coke and, just as the lights changed, he popped the tab and lobbed it into their car.

High pressure brown foam everywhere.

Lovely jubbly as they used to say at the time.
(Mediaslut, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 6:12, closed)

ah yes
the little LED thing

A mate had one in his car a few years back.

Whenever someone got to close he would flick it on. It said something like.

STOP READING THIS. IM BRAKING.

Always worked
(Lanceuppercut, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 6:12, closed)

I drove
a Ford Ka for a while as a 'courtesy' car while mine was being repaired. I tried it flat out on the motorway. Couldn't get it to read anything more than 90.

It also handled pretty badly - it would bounce around a lot. For this reason I drove it fairly cautiously most of the time.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 8:40, closed)

Tapping on the brakes...
I have been wondering exactly how hard you have to touch the brakes to get the brake lights to turn on.

Ideally I would love to be able to touch them just enough to scare the crap out of the arse tailgating me who thinks I have slammed on the anchors, but not actually cause my speed to decrease by any amount.

I may have to try using the headlights for that in the future and see if those do the job, cheers for the suggestion.
(442, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:39, closed)

Generally
I find that there is about half an inch of travel on the brake pedal on most cars where the lights are on but there is no actual brake force. This is quite enough to produce a trouser filling pedal stomp from the idiot behind.
(Leonard Hatred briefly did some work on, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:18, closed)

Or looking at it the other way...
You could use your handbrake to slow down - it won't show the brakelights at all and they'll get a hell of a shock at this rapidly-slowing car in front of them.

Particularly useful if you already have a scratch or similar on the back of your car that you want to be rid of...

As for the Ford Ka, the one that k2k6 tried was obviously broken in some way. They're lethargically underpowered and built with all the finesse of a damp fag packet, but the handling is an absolute hoot - they outhandle just about anything in their class, with flat cornering and progressive breakaway. I do know what I'm talking about too - I have a day job that involves me pushing some quite exotic machinery to its limits on a private circuit (e.g. Jaguar XKR, Aston Martin DBS, Porsche 911 Turbo, Maserati GranTurismo S all in the last week)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:56, closed)