I would be if I ever had to deal with it.
Are you a middle manager in a health trust or something? I really hope you are! :D
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 11:56, 1 reply)

god no
I loath those types but I do believe in pumping the economy full of cash.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 13:06, closed)

I have no problem with large numbers of employees.
But I'd rather pay for 1000 doctors and 1000 nurses, than 500 doctors, 500 nurses, and 1000 dickheads. Assuming the average salaries are the same for medical staff, and pointless dickheads, surely that pumps just as much money?

(I'm no economist b.t.w., I do real work for a living!)
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 14:32, closed)

That has to be tarding, 9-5 mate.

(Your name: Board Sig:, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 14:43, closed)

Have you sustained damage to your inferior frontal gyrus?
Should've bought the superior one... now THAT was false economy.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 14:57, closed)

tard

(Your name: Board Sig:, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 15:06, closed)

You seem a trifle irked, m'laddo.
Are YOU one of those middle managers? (God I hope so, again)
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 15:10, closed)

In lieu of witless registrars and nigerian nurses who can't pick shit out of their own arses I reckon somebody has to run the hospital. You know trivial things like budget allocation, equipment procurement, HR, buildings maintenance
You know trivial matters that allow for a functioning trust. Tard.
(Your name: Board Sig:, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 15:21, closed)

AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Too easy.

BTW. Why do you hire nurses who pick shit out of their own arses?
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 15:22, closed)

Too easy to point out that you're a tard ? I guess so. Congrats on the self awareness at last mate.

(Your name: Board Sig:, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 15:27, closed)

Well, don't get angry with me just because someone made you angry on the internet.
EDIT: By the way dude... you know that dickhead every circle of friends has, who tries to keep up with the pub banter but instead just repeats a weak insult to cover his lack of wit? Your friends all think that's you.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 15:31, closed)

Wow, that's really put me in my place.
Yes you're right after all mate it only takes doctors and nurses to run a hospital like what you saw on Casualty at the weekend. Running an nhs trust with a multimillion pound annual budget under a structured management regime is clearly insane.

Ding ding there's been another spill in aisle 4 best get your skates on.
(Your name: Board Sig:, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 15:46, closed)

Change of insult I see... pity you just insulted some other group of unrelated people. They might get upset, you heartless bastard.
Anyway, since you're getting more and more angry, I thought I'd present you with some statistics:

In March this year, the NHS had:
110,867 doctors.
213,768 "infrastructure support" staff, of which 70,937 are employed in "hotel, property and estates" & 37,264 are managers

Approximately equal numbers of useless cunts and life-saving heroes. Defend that.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 15:57, closed)

You must also have a 'help for heroes' bumper sticker. Squaddies, doctors, nurses; they're all heroes mate, every last one of em, gawd bless 'em.
Thanks for the lack of citation on your 100% made up facts and figures you retard.
(Your name: Board Sig:, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 16:06, closed)

You're welcome.
www.hscic.gov.uk/catalogue/PUB14287/nhs-work-stat-mar-2014-nat-tab.xls

Just so you know, I have worked for an NHS trust before. Never in my life have I been surrounded by a less able bunch of hilariously lazy bastards. It'd take a day to do work that was expected to last a week. I then automated a bunch of time consuming processes, such that my weeks work took 1 mouse click on a Monday morning, but upper management wouldn't sign off on it as it'd make their staff look even less busy than before.

That was a culturally pervasive attitude, and I seriously doubt it has changed.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 16:16, closed)

As you can't read a simple excel spreadsheet I'll help you mate.
As of March 2014 out of 1.2 million staff there are 26,000 managers and 11,000 senior managers. I've rounded these figures out because you're thick. Sounds like the nhs needs more managers not less. That way there'd be greater efficiency savings across the board.
Tard
(Your name: Board Sig:, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 16:26, closed)

So, how many are opticians?
I wrote: "37,264 are managers."

I didn't bother rounding, as I had assumed (incorrectly) that you're reasonably intelligent.

Just so you know; those 110,000 odd in "central functions" are for the most part financial managers, who have been hived off into their own category to make it appear like there are more doctors than managers.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 16:31, closed)

So instead of thirty seven thousand managers, in charge of the effective administration of 1.2 million staff and several billion pounds of annual budgets
the board tard would have more doctors and nurses instead. Well that's it all settled then. What with your anecdotal expertise as a lazy I.T. nobody for the nhs at some time in your life you definitely need to crack a tard e-mail off to the Department of Health outlining your vision for the future.
(Your name: Board Sig:, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 16:41, closed)

I'd certainly employ a doctor instead of your useless arse;
You work for an organisation which is supposed to help the sick and injured with compassion, yet you repeatedly use a mental health slur. You do a job that doesn't need doing, draining large sums of public money away from the people who need it. You're the kind of person who gets blisteringly angry on the internet because somebody wound you up like a top. In short, you're not just unemployable, you're also a fairly terrible human.

(213,769 infrastructure support. Like I say... they're basically also managers... managers who probably, like you, could be automated.)

Just out of interest, have you ever had a non-public sector job?
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 16:50, closed)

Yeah mate "Infrastructure support" covers a wide range of roles of which only 37,000 constitutes managers.
That's why they come under "Managers". The rest come under a wide range of relatively unskilled roles such as "cleaners". Although according to the board tard there should be less cleaners fulfilling the crucial role of "infection control" and more nurses. Thankfully under my watch there will always be room for hospital cleaners ensuring that the good fight against c diff and mrsa will continue. Thereby ensuring less time is spent on the ward by patients, thusly freeing up beds and allowing the nhs to rationalise wards.
Tard
(Your name: Board Sig:, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 17:17, closed)

I like how you're signing off as tard, now.
Thank fuck you're rationalising the wards... but I hope you're leveraging best practices while you do it, and synergising with other vertical units. Your buzzword bullshit only confirms what a pointless "coolaid drinking" herd member you are.

Anyway, as has already been explained, only about 70,000 of that 213,000 are actually people who do any no bureaucratic work. Yes the "managers" and "senior managers" take up 37,000, but the "central functions" (110,000) category was invented as a way of hiding a large number of financial mangers under a category that doesn't sounds like it contains managers. That makes about 147,000 managers in total. One of whom should really be doing some of the work that my taxes pay for.

It's basically a government deception. One which you're either falling for, or perpetrating.

Just out of interest, have you ever had a non-public sector job?
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 17:32, closed)

Chill tard. You havent really adressed that you'd like to get rid of all the cleaners, maintenace and grounds people for the hospitals in favour of your illconceived ideal of filling every hospital chock full of nurses.
I'm impressed that the package holiday towel spaz denigrates others for being part of the herd. You big old failwhale.
(Your name: Board Sig:, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 17:44, closed)

No, only some of the 147,000 managers.
The 70,000 in "hotel, etc..." (e.g. the cleaners) can stay, and receive some of your, now redundant, paycheck.

What is a towel spaz? Come to think of it, wtf IS a package holiday... do people even DO those??
Would I be able to go on one from my second home in Devon?

In any event, since you obviously have never had the kind of job where its possible to actually be sacked, and since you're in a completely biased position attempting to justify your pointless job, you basically haven't got an opinion worth considering. But, I love how you're desperately defending the tedious job that you probably hate.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 17:49, closed)

Your profile says that you're a package holiday tramp mate, do keep up.
Apart from the tinfoil hatting you still haven't justified how only three per cent of a workforce being in a management role can be considered in any way excessive, you massive spastic.
(Your name: Board Sig:, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 18:14, closed)

Nah.
My profile is a web of lies spun primarily for my own entertainment. But thanks for enjoying it.

By the way, do you understand the principles of insulting someone? You have to pick on some aspect of their life about which they feel insecure, and hammer at it.

What you're doing, is either swearing unoriginally, or inventing a fictional version of your target and insulting that. Maybe if I'd ever worked in a supermarket I'd be offended that you'd scored a cheap shot at my shit job. You need to take genuine information, infer what you can, and THEN insult them.

I kinda feel bad now, cuz I've been ripping on you quite harshly all afternoon, and although you did kinda ask for it by being an unduly aggressive bellend, you probably don't deserve it in the grand scheme of things. So yeah; my advice is, if you're gonna insult someone, pick something with bite, as opposed to the last thing your children said to you.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 18:48, closed)

Well I never, you post a series of sad wanker stories on a comedy website, that somehow entertain you.
Not forgetting your inability to understand a simple spreadsheet which you've adduced as your prime evidence for your halfwitted schemes. Rollercoaster doesn't even begin to describe your circumstances. Don't ever stop pretending to have once affected a German tourists mannerisms, don't ruin the dream.
(Your name: Board Sig:, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 19:15, closed)

Top marks for effort.
To be fair, you were the one who didn't seem to be able to add 11,193 and 26,071 together. You also don't seem to understand that "central functions" is an intentionally vague term... and such terms are used in government accounting, in order to fudge figures in order to look good. You call that tinfoil hattery, but are you honestly trying to tell me that governments wouldn't try to influence the reported figures to support their desired viewpoint? We cannot say what proportion of the central functions block are bureaucrats, but as a maximum bound it would make it closer to 12% of staff being managerial, and 3% as a minimum bound only. It seems you don't really understand the spreadsheet.

Er, what schemes?
"Slightly bored, and winding up an apparently angry man." begins to describe my circumstances.
"Going home now, so you can win if you want." ends the description of my circumstances.

Sorry for ruining your weird dream, I guess.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 20:16, closed)

Any time you need a dig out with not understanding a spreadsheet showing how stupid you are I'll be here for you pal.

(Your name: Board Sig:, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 8:09, closed)

Wow, you genuinely are thick aren't you?
Basically you were kinda fun yesterday, what with you getting all serious about your fascinating career in hospital misadministration, but even the most committed couldn't really be arsed to take this forward to a second day.

Your approach of reiterating bad insults because you can't think of anything funnier simply isn't very entertaining, and your commitment to government pencil pushing, while commendable, is the most tediously mediocre thing I've ever heard of.

So go on... call me a tard again. I know you want to.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 10:08, closed)

That's both "fascinating" AND well paid to you !!
ReTard
(Your name: Board Sig:, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 10:45, closed)

I did IT for patient transport
Every day a staff of 12 would work from 8-4 planning tomorrow's routes so that the minimum number of vehicles could pick several people up at a time and drop them off for their appointments and take people home again after.

One evening the system crashed and lost the entire days work. The supervisor and I sat down and cranked the whole thing back out in an hour.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 16:42, closed)

I should be shocked.
But then, it has long been known that a good half of those in the public sector would have been long ago sacked in the private sector.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 17:39, closed)

My cousin works for his local authority.
Apparently, it's pretty much impossible to get sacked there. Taxpayers in that region are paying for people to do about half an hour's work per day, come and go as they please, and sit on facebook most of the time. That's when they're not phoning in sick with 'stress'.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 18:25, closed)

'apparently', any pearl of anecdotal fact is guaranteed to be bullshit if it carries the qualifier 'apparently'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 18:32, closed)

Hmm. Change it to "He said"?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 18:35, closed)

I hate to say this but that rant is all a bit Daily Mail, next it will be "Health and Safety gone MAD."
You may find that is the amount of specialism that the NHS now panders to that is the cause of increasing budget needs and not per se the amount of none service related management employed to account for how the money is spent.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 16:07, closed)

(Ssshhhhh... I agree, but I got a live one here, so I disagree)

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 16:21, closed)

How dare you disagree!

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 16:25, closed)

Lets disagree to agree, eh?
I'm having such a lot of fun right now.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 16:25, closed)

That was certainly a lot of bang for your buck.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 20:17, closed)

you cunts owe me a scroll wheel

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 1 Jul 2014, 21:19, closed)

I think you will find it was those cunts and not me.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 7:32, closed)

Not me guvnor.
No sir.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 10:10, closed)