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This is a question Family Feuds

Pooster tells us that a relative was once sent to the shops to buy an onion, while the rest of the family went on a daytrip while he was gone. Meanwhile, whole sections of our extended kin still haven't got over a wedding brawl fifteen years ago – tell us about families at war.

(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:24)
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A life of near domestic bliss
I am eternally grateful that I have a good relationship with my folks. They always been reasoned in their judgements, tolerant of my foibles and critical only of my most serious failings. In one regard however we are as bitterly divided as it is possible to be.

I don't drink tea.

As the son of an army officer and a schoolteacher, I was raised by people who regard tea as a semi religious substance. Rare is a day where the kettle drops to a temperature low enough to touch it. My non consumption of tea initially went unremarked- I believe they thought I might grow into it but when I began to consume coffee, there came the realisation that I was not one of them. It would be wrong to say I have been ostracised for my preferences but there is still the tension there when we are all back with my folks;

Mrs Hatred snr "who wants tea?"
General chorus of approval from all parties including my own fiancé- the traitorous swine.
Mrs Hatred snr: "Leonard, I suppose you'll want a (agonised pause) coffee."
Me: "Thanks mum that'd be great"
Mrs Hatred snr "right, I'll have to find the cafitiere and work out where in the freezer the coffee is (makes a small pained sigh).
Me "Don't worry mum, I shall take care of my own drink, far be it for me to expose you to such dubiously European practices as the preparation of coffee."
Mrs Hatred snr; "If you wouldn't mind"

Let the record state, my mother would prepare any other drink, she'd probably make me a gin and tonic at eight in the morning. I have however rejected tea and will have to prepare the evil alternative myself for ever by way of recompence. Love her though.

Length? She won't let a cafitiere stand for five minutes either.
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 10:38, 23 replies)
Nope, you've lost me
Run that one by me again - you're a person... and you don't drink tea?
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 11:02, closed)
You don't drink tea?
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 11:53, closed)
They be brewing
They be hating...
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 12:57, closed)
you are one of them
ruining the great english tradition

the TEA break
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 13:10, closed)
you're one of THEM!
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 13:19, closed)
I see the tea Stasi have arrived
Listen chaps and chapesses, I appreciate that tea has a special place in the hearts of most citizens of this sceptered isle. I have nothing against tea- should anyone visit chez Hatred, they will not be denied tea. I make good tea, there is always a small quantity of Fortnum and Mason's English Breakfast tea in the freezer for this purpose.

I however always drink coffee. I love coffee. I drink it black either as a single or double espresso in the morning or with a quantity of hot water added in the afternoon. Tea is simply not able to get my brain purring like a good cup of coffee can.

I feel I face ostracism unecessarily.
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 13:35, closed)
I feel your pain, I also hate tea ... and there is always that smallest of pauses and The Look. I am happy to say "water, thank you" ... I hate tea, even the smell makes me slightly sickened. Why do that to yourself when coffee is just so good?!
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 13:46, closed)
My sister discovered instant coffee as a young teenager and was hooked,
even though the large extended family always took tea (strong, in mugs) and thought anyone not drinking it was, y'know, a bit strange.

She's now 60 and my mother still routinely offers Sis tea, then says 'Oh no, you only drink COFFEE, don't you?' as if she's accusing Sis of drinking the blood of newborn babies.

Me, I'm not arsed, drink owt, me.
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 13:53, closed)
I got put off tea because of the ridiculous, almost religious attitude that goes with it
I don't mind tea, sometimes it's nice to have a cup, but to practically worship the stuff is absurd.

I don't drink coffee either, mainly because it makes me feel sick.

I've found that almost eliminating caffeine from my day has made me feel much more awake almost all of the time, as opposed to the peaks and troughs I had when I drank tea much more often.
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 14:17, closed)
Yup that's true
I stopped drinking caffeine by accident a few years ago, by accidentally buying decaff, and didn't notice any difference.

These days, I drink decaff at home and the odd tea/coffee at work. About 45 minutes after a caffeinated drink I start pegging for another and get all antsy! If I ignore the feeling it eventually goes away.

I'm not an addict - I can take it or leave it. Honest.
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 14:22, closed)
Religious attitude
Yes! Milk-before-tea versus tea-before-milk is the Protestants versus Catholics of the beverage world.
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 14:26, closed)
otherwise it tastes funny.
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 1:19, closed)
It's the great ancestral divide in my family too.
Mum's family always drinks coffee; Dad's family always drinks tea. In the latter case, 'always' means 'almost constantly'. I've never actually witnessed a fight about it, but my dad always lets me make my own coffee when I go to his place. Then again, my mum lets me make my own too, since I drink filter coffee and she drinks decaf instant (on doctor's orders, I might add, since she is petite and has the appetite of a hamster, so she has virtually no buffer zone for all that caffeine).
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 14:57, closed)
Your family is right.
have a brew FFS
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 15:13, closed)
...I see

(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 19:16, closed)
you're weird

(, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 2:15, closed)
I don't drink tea OR coffee
Fuck the lot of ya :D
(, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 7:51, closed)
same here. Just lager and water (not at the same time, hopefully!) with the occasional juice when in the mood
(, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 13:00, closed)
Do you eat...oysters?
Do you eat...snails?
(, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 13:19, closed)
I feel you
I didnt drink tea for well over a decade at one point, being exclusively a black coffee and espresso man, but then was given a cup of tea by a friend at work who'd gone out to buy breakfast for everyone from the local cafe... it was hot, it was sweet, it was milky, it was incredible.

there's room for both coffee and tea in my cupboard now.
(, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 9:06, closed)
Coffee in the morning
Tea in the afternoon
Alcohol in the evening

Right, that's cleared that one up.
(, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 11:40, closed)
Coffee Nazis are worse
I find the Coffee Nazis far worse than the Tea ones. I can't stand coffee. I've tried instant, fresh, cups of foul-tasting drink that well-meaning friends have put before me assuring me it'll be the best coffee I'll ever had, and it all tastes absolutely fucking revolting.

I'm quite convinced I could muster up a drink indistinguishable from coffee by simply burning some newspaper and adding hot water to it.

But woe betide I should ever mention the fact I don't like it, to anyone, ever, it seems...
(, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 12:53, closed)
What is this tea drink anyway?

(, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 1:27, closed)

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