There's a guy in my office who is nicknamed "Catweazle" behind his back.
This is because of his wispy, straggly grey hair, his bottle-bottom glasses, his stained, old polo shirt-n-tracksuit-bottoms clothing combo, his brown, roll-up stained, chipped teeth, propensity to shave only every few months, and the fact that he talks down to everyone in a bored monotone, due to his being FAR intelligenter than ANYone in the building, which is evinced by him understanding both HTML and being able to set up the pre-flight settings on Adobe Acrobat.

Given half the chance, he will tell you about how all the girls and gays fancy him, and on one stomach-lurching occasion he told us a story about when he was having sex.

He is - of course - a master ninja. And likes PROPER heavy metal - not the pop SHIT.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 11:52, 7 replies)

Your story seems to be:
"There's a slightly autistic guy at work who we all make fun of because he's a bit different. We only keep him around because he's actually useful for fixing the computers that we constantly fuck up.

We also mock him because he likes music that lasts longer than 3 minutes and never gets played on Radio 1"
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 13:21, closed)

It's not you, is it?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 13:24, closed)

Then you're reading it wrong.
During a company-wide presentation, he asked for clarification on a point, to which the presenter responded, concluding with "Does that make it a bit clearer?"

He responded "Well I understood it - obviously - but I don't know if anyone else was able to."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 13:37, closed)

Fair enough, that is fantastically arrogant...
...but disliking pop music is fair play, surely?
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 14:33, closed)

No he's one of those category twats
"You like I The Writer? Hm. I prefer a bit of the old traditional deathcore black thrash, myself."

The sort of prick that talks about cannabis strains with studiedly cool authority.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 15:30, closed)

That's always pretty funny.
Especially considering there's basically two main types, and everything is just some cross between the two; not exactly complex. I particularly like it when dealers try and impress you with the strain that they're selling... "Yeaaah boooi! 's White Widow mate... it'll get you wasted":

1) I don't actually believe you
2) So long as it's reasonable, I'm probably buying it
3) I'm basically hooked... you really don't need to advertise
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 17:03, closed)

when he was having sex from his bins
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 13:59, closed)