An insect going in my ear

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 11 Sep 2014, 23:13, 4 replies)

Because it might start flying around inside your head?

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 11 Sep 2014, 23:14, closed)

No, because it might lay eggs in my ear drum or die in there or make me deaf

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 11 Sep 2014, 23:16, closed)

Just how quickly could YOU do it...?
On a fine, sunny day I'd gone for a motorcycle ride through the country lanes. As I was belting along, there was a flash, a thwumping noise, and an indescribably unpleasant sensation. It was the biker's worst nightmare, a wasp or bee in the helmet!

It had hit to the side of my face, and plunged right in, to end up lodged in my ear. I could feel it buzzing and squirming around, and knew that the only escape route that would be apparent to the vicious killer insect would be directly INTO MY HEAD!

Now, I'm motoring at a reasonable speed here, maybe 60mph. So I have to do an emergency stop (preferably without losing control and crashing), pull over, and get my helmet off -- which realistically means getting my gloves off first. Try to imagine how long that takes, when every millisecond you're expecting the agonising stinging to start, from somwehere deep inside your ear canal. Let me tell you, it seemed to take forever. All the while I could feel it struggling closer and deeper.

Finally I managed to rip the helmet off, and threw it to the ground. Where, gasping its last, was the mangled wreckage of a butterfly.

Arse.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 11:46, closed)

But why was the butterfly chasing a bee?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 18:45, closed)