Vikki...
Was hot. I mean she was fucking hot. And, as I found out, somewhat deranged. Maybe.

There I was, looking after her, me virtually clothed, her not, which isn't weird, but I know that the neck is a sensitive spot, so sometimes whilst doing what I need to do with my mouth, you find those zones that the ladies like...

So as my hand stroked her neck gently, she took my hand, enclosed it around her neck and I thought she said lustily "squeeze"...To which I paused, "sorry?" I asked in a most seductive way trying not to lose any romantic moment, and she repeated what she'd said.

"squeeze"...

Well, bugger me gently with a chainsaw, I must say it freaked me out a little, but, hell, I went with it, and she came. And came. And came. And came. And the more I squeezed, the more she came...

But...whilst she made my bed in to a water bed, which was not altogether unpleasing, it started to dawn on me that she liked this a little too much...

And...thankfully for me I believe that I stopped when I should, lest I find myself with not only a wet bed, but a dead body to get rid of discretely...

I called it off shortly afterwards...autoeroticasphyxiation is a step too far for me.
(beatpig understands subliminalesbianmessagaying., Fri 23 Oct 2009, 18:13, 3 replies)

oh i can help you with that
you will need

chicken wire
dumbell weights
access to a ocean going vessel such as a trawler

roll the ex friend in the chickenwire (no need to remove teeth or fingers - no one is finding this fucker), periodically adding the dumbell weights.

twist the ends like a christmas cracker (heads can detatch and can float)

steam offshore to at least 80 fathoms

dump

simples
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 24 Oct 2009, 0:27, closed)

Oddly...
...I have a bit of a thing about that particular spelling of that name - which is odd as the girl to which it attaches in my history was fucking useless. If you ever meet another one, give her a strangle for me!
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Sat 24 Oct 2009, 3:14, closed)

Strangle-wank
Or the strangle-wank as I like to call it. Not into it myself, but I just like the name.
(Plumstix has been spying on you since, Sun 25 Oct 2009, 0:10, closed)