I would say the first proper rude thing i saw in the flesh as it were
Was my girlfriend (now Mrs SLVA) when we was 17. We had shagged twice before (that is the best word for it too IMO as it was a case of hitching up her skirt whilst I undo my trousers), and one evening we had access to an empty flat.
We laid a towel on the bare floorboards, and she started undressing me, and I undressed her, kissing and groping as 17 year old couples are wont to do. We were down to our pants, I was staring at her pert breasts (which by now couldn't taken my eye out). She then made me lay down and pulled my boxer shorts off. Standing over me, she then took her knickers off.

The first thing that went through my mind was "Corrr, fanny". The second thing was that she had a long body. Actually she doesn't, she's a right shortarse, but when the pants are removed, there is nothing to break up the shape and it looked quite a distance from her belly button down to the top of the thighs.

Has anybody else made this observation? And to pre-empt you all, I meant other girls apart from my missus.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 16:16, 27 replies)

I pre-empted on your missus.
(yes, I know that is grammatically tortuous, but so is your post)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 16:21, closed)

Hang on, I must be able to do better than this.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 16:23, closed)

Corrfanny?
Is that a greek island?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 16:24, closed)

Duh.
It's Welsh.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 16:33, closed)

Yes!
There it is, the joke I was desperately failing to find.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 16:39, closed)

Why were you wearing her skirt?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 16:24, closed)

And why was she wearing your boxer shorts?


Nope. I couldn't do better. I give up.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 16:25, closed)

Corfanny?
That's in Wales, isn't it?

NB: Please ignore all previous posts, especially the one where Vag found me my punchline.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 16:39, closed)

*raucous applause*

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 17:09, closed)

you spoil all our fun

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 17:39, closed)

No.
And please stop posting in detail about you and your missus' sex life.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 19:45, closed)

Yes, it is a bit disturbing
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 20:59, closed)

Yes you're a creepy weirdo
(jonnysymbols, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:02, closed)

You love it really

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:17, closed)

not so much actually
it's kinda skeevy.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:23, closed)

So long as you don't do it in real life, I suppose it's not the end of the world.
I have a colleague who is rather more open than he should be, about his private time with the missus. Not a good thing.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:43, closed)

Not at all
But QOTW exists purely for teh sex-lies.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 14:28, closed)

So what you are saying is
you don't really have sex with your wife?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 14:32, closed)

his wife isn't allowed in nonce-jail with him

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 14:32, closed)

You wish I was a nonce, little boy.

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 14:34, closed)

That's among the weirder comebacks I've seen.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 14:41, closed)

It's a many-pronged one.

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 15:13, closed)

This will all come out
during the divorce.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 15:21, closed)

Ah,
so THAT is why she won't have sex with you.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 15:23, closed)

I hope this isn't going to turn into another discussion of Hentai
(richardm, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 16:23, closed)

Hmmm....
I clicked on the Reply link intending to quip that I'd been to Corrfanny while cycling in Wales last year, but never mind.

Edit: and, yes, ^what he said^
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 19:54, closed)

See, you had your joke
before you posted. I should follow your example.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 20:15, closed)