Trying to impress a girl.
Some time ago, I was trying to impress a girl and make out I was better than I was. I ended up buying "expensive look" clothes to fool her. Like my shoes looked like they were leather, but they were plastic - plus I bought ones with heels on them so I looked taller. I bought a really cheap suit that looked expensive, but was little more than a sack. I even pretended I was younger than I was. But the worst thing I did was made out that I was white, even though my dad is black.

When she realised that I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth, she cried, but I could tell she was faking it.

In the end, I realised I was just a subsitute for another guy...
(ScousersPet, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 10:07, 7 replies)

But things got really messy
when you stopped drinking Coke and started on the gin.

DIDN'T THEY, EH??
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 10:22, closed)

Yeah, but
I ditched her and went back to my mum. At least I got my washing done.
(ScousersPet, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 10:37, closed)

Honestly
You're just swapping your lies for facts.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 16 Jan 2009, 10:23, closed)

Don't really blame you though
See-through plastic macs really do it for me too...
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 10:39, closed)

got it third sentence
that is all
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 17 Jan 2009, 6:17, closed)

Well struck, sir!
Got it around the bit about "my dad is black".
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 20:21, closed)

I must admit...
I prefer the version with Kelly Jones on it!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 14:04, closed)