Fashion.....
This is just a general one about fashion and societies general obsession with everyone fitting into an ocular envelope, or group.

I mean, I don’t really get fashion, which is a surprise really as I’m such a hip, happening and cool mother fucker. But, seriously, who is brandishing the fashion orders? And more importantly, who is continuing to helplessly obey them like a nodding Churchill dog?

It’s all bollocks, in my opinion fashion is just a stupid visual system created by people with no personality in order to communicate with other personality redundant lemmings. There are pricks walking around in silly hats, pointy shoes, and trousers thinner than McDonalds straws, all in the name of fashion. Emo’s, Goths, Trendies, Chav’s etc etc, essentially people with no securities or oneness, who have to re-create themselves to feel part of a group or to be accepted.

The worse cunts though are the cool kids. I go to many gigs and have reviewed for a music magazine for the past couple of years as a bit of a hobby. Fuck me, I have met some tits during this period. In particular the ‘cool kids’ who label themselves ‘Indie’ which when I last checked means they consider themselves to be individual and are not bided by others or influenced by opinions, scenes or movements. This is the caper these ‘cool kids’ give me anyway. One chap in particular gave me this spiel, yet, how this guy, or the rest of his chums were different was anyone’s guess. You know the type, long straightened hair, jeans tight enough to give you an hernia, shades bigger than his face, pointy brogues, cigarette in mouth, probably thinks Banksy is a genius, and he most probably has a degree in Textiles or art, or something similarly fucking useless, yet his opinion is more valued than mine because he has an insignificant degree and I don’t. They all speak, look and share the same fucking opinion, therefore, they are not individuals.

Anyway, this guy continued to nark me, and his ignorance was unprecedented. We started talking about going bald. You know what he said? Note, at this point he had been talking about global economic systems, capitalism and ignorance and a whole load of other shit he had probably read in a book, heard on the news or got told by someone with an actual opinion, of which was far greater than mine of course, all of which was complete and utter shit but his mates looked on in admiration. Anyway, he said at this point, and I quote ‘If I ever went bald, I would just get me some tight jeans, some doctor martins, some braces and shave the rest off my hair off, and dress like a punk, I reckon that would look cool.’ I fucking snapped at this point, and tried to explain to this individual of great individuality and opinion that punk was not about the clothes you wore, it was a movement created by people who all felt lost in the world and punk was there to bind them together, not through fashion but through music and the movement that was created. What a fucking cunt. I was drunk at this point so I called him one, and stated that that’s my opinion, so it probably won’t offend him as it’s obviously not valid as I don’t have an arts degree or something similarly wank.

I suppose the general thing I’m trying to say is, I don’t get why people have to dress a particular way to feel a part of something. You don’t join the army to wear the uniform do you?

I suppose it doesn’t help when you have got tit prodders like Trinny and Susanna constantly telling you not what to wear, and that Gok Won arsehole mincing around your tv screen showing you how to look good naked.
(Sir_Digby_Chicken_Caeser [email protected], Fri 16 Jan 2009, 19:12, 15 replies)

Fuck yeah..
..I used to do a bit of reviewing for a music magazine too and came accross all manner of asshole clones with personalities absent. There are bullshit uniforms in the music scene just like with anything.

I posted a picture of myself on the Brian Jonestown Massacre (a band notorious for not giving a fuck and keeping it punk as hell in their own very individual way - a band who have always given their music aweay for free; who were rocking big shades and bootcut jeans in 1993, when that was genuinely a bit shocking) messageboard, and still get the piss ripped out of me for not looking like the stereotypical hipster. I can post a comment as innocent as "I like Abba" and I'll get jumped on by everyone, including people approaching 40. Totally conformist wankers who think they are at the vanguard of rebellion - bollocks to them all.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 19:22, closed)

Agreed to both of the above
Although it is fun to take the piss. Trouble is, a lot of them don't get it when you say "Greetings to you and your hive mind..."

I watch too much Bill Bailey.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 16 Jan 2009, 20:22, closed)

This ^^
is brilliant. Bill Bailey FTW.
(Holloway_Girl To err is to be human, to be a fool is to believe, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 22:47, closed)

just remember
most of the cool kids with arts degrees end up in shit jobs.
(imallamallama looking forward to llamageddon on, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 22:01, closed)

Agreed
Fashion is by definition what other people are wearing. You can't stand out by wearing fashionable clothes. People wear fashionable clothes because they don't want to stand out.
( JimM, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 22:15, closed)

Fashion
Not only that, but when are people going to learn that individuality isn't something that you can BUY?

As soon as you can buy it - and today, buy it you can - it's dead.

www.adbusters.org/magazine/79/hipster.html
(CaptainJ, Sun 18 Jan 2009, 1:34, closed)

Perfect......
This made me laugh and also made me feel incredibly sick!

Nathan Barley springs to mind
(Sir_Digby_Chicken_Caeser [email protected], Sun 18 Jan 2009, 12:15, closed)

you speaketh the truth
too damn right! had a hilarious night in the Astoria (RIP) on wednesday watching all the little poseurs pretending they knew a damn thing about the place cos they had criminal damage trews on and vans, muppets!
(Honeycomb is a dirty groupie!, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 23:59, closed)

The worst fashion victims are those IT nerds though
seriously, wear anything but the uniform of faded t-shirt (with slogan/company logo/humourous image) and old jeans and you'll get scornful, sarcastic comments that would make an aging catwalk queen blush.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Sat 17 Jan 2009, 13:16, closed)

*Clicks*
I live in Brighton and I'd do anything to murder the indie idiots that have taken over the place and turned all the decent rock nights into "Indie and alternative nights" which I'd rather poke red hot needles of sulphur into my eyes than go along to. Argh. They all look the same but they're "individual", wtf?

Good post, far more eloquent than I could have made it :P
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Sat 17 Jan 2009, 14:14, closed)

And yet....
Trying to be part of a group, and wear a uniform to signal same, seems to be basic human nature. Why are you surprised/offended when this happens in the places you frequent? You seem to have a bit of a chip on your shoulder. I'll make a little prediction: 20 years from now when you read your post you will cringe.

Mort
(mortdubois lacks imagination, doesn't play well with others, Sun 18 Jan 2009, 12:59, closed)

Chip on the shoulder?
Hey Mort.....

How's it going? Jeans too tight? Art degree not getting you anywhere amidst the credit crunch?

Never mind mate, who wants to live 20 years longer anyway if we have to abide by 'human nature' and we can't 'frequent' places where we dislike people? fuck me, im surprised i ever 'frequented' a family party
(Sir_Digby_Chicken_Caeser [email protected], Sun 18 Jan 2009, 23:04, closed)

I mean
I agree with most of this, you know? Like, fashion, yeah it's stupid, and conformity is one of those human nature things that I hate. But don't be hating on art degrees. Hahahah, there's nothing wrong with being an artist, is there? I don't think it makes you cooler, or less cool, to have one.
( Killerkitti Like my coffee black, just like my metal, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 3:38, closed)

does an artist......
need to have an art degree to be an artist? na, in the same way a writer don't need a degree, you just are one the minute you pick up a brush or a pen!

na, i was just using the art degree as his example, there are plenty of other shit degrees that will land someone a job in starbucks
(Sir_Digby_Chicken_Caeser [email protected], Mon 19 Jan 2009, 19:38, closed)

I get what you mean about the art thing
People doing art not because they have a passion for it but because they can do it quite well and its a 'cool' degree to have and you think you will come across as deep and interesting when really you're just a tortured soul who liked drawing pictures of Green Day at college and moping about with a floppy fringe but still you wanted to better yourself and advance to a higher grade of twat in the vain hope that you'll meet others just like you that can relate to your life long anguish of all them times mummy shouted at me :(

The same thing pisses me off about media studies students. The ones that do it not because they want to get into film or journalism but the ones that want to sit on their arse and 'analyse' magazines all day then end up in a chip shop because they didnt intend to do anything productive with it. It was just a chance to flounce around some 3rd rate uni chatting shit about 'arty' films that no one else is cool enough to have seen and no-one wants to have seen because the majority are shit.

Tossers. /rant

breathe
(i should have joined myspace, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 0:38, closed)