Stand Up For Yourself - And Pay For It
Even as a child, I understood the importance of being yourself, standing up to peer pressure, following your own path and ignoring what everyone else thinks. As a consequence, I was miserably lonely, ostracised, bullied to the point of PTSD, and to this day I'm socially uncomfortable, bitter, and have almost no network of friends. Humans are social animals. It's in our nature. You have to either fit in, or find a place where you do.
All you people who are proud of yourselves for never doing anything to fit in? You're not iconoclast rebel hard-boys. You're just so average you fit in without trying. So all you self-congratulatory "I never did anything to fit in, hooray for me" cuntsmugs can just Fuck. Right. Off.
(MrCanoehead Marzipaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 14:35, 20 replies)

No fella
It's not a question of being average, it's a question of other people growing up and learning to accept difference. It would be reasonable to surmise that you are either that weird you just haven't found your niche yet, or you have no concept of social skills. The most important thing I found, is to relax, don't try and force anything, and just let it be. From what I can tell you're trying to project a forced image of yourself- as if you're being contrary for the sake of it. Which may be why you're not exactly the social butterfly. And what you interpret as smugness, in my case, is far from it- a gratitude that I was intelligent enough to be able to pull this trick off. There are still lots of places I don't fit- dance clubs, chavs at bus stops, or dogging groups in car parks. I just avoid these like the merry plague. In short mate, you need to get out there and let life happen rather than force it.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 20 Jan 2009, 14:44, closed)

But then again
/talk treats you like a freakish outsider.
( WormuIus, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 15:13, closed)

on the internet

( WormuIus, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 15:13, closed)

This is true
And frankly, it's just pixels on a screen.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 20 Jan 2009, 15:55, closed)

Hurrah!
A person with sense.
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 14:46, closed)

hear hear...
my wife was bullied at school to the point of having a group of boys hold her down and kick her in the back so hard it broke her coccycx (spelling?). She doesn't suffer from PTSD, she just grew up, realised they were cunts and got on with life.

She's about the most friendly, gregarious person I know, so I wish these people would stop with the Emo "the world hates me" crap and get over themselves.

Kids are bastards, always have been - if you have the wrong shoes, coat, hair, music tastes, or whatever, they'll tear you apart like a pack of feral dogs. Everyone has been on the end of it at some point - we just don't all choose to spend the next 20 years moaning about it and acting like it gives us an excuse to act like a socially retarded gimp or like a violent, moody bastard. In short, we grow up and realise that it DOESN'T MATTER.

To the OP: Spending your life with a chip on your shoulder doesn't make you a victim - it makes you passive-aggressive and means that you have probably driven away those who have done you no harm and who would have been friends or potential lovers. Self-pity is neither socially endearing nor attractive to the opposite sex.

If you're that messed up, get help and stop acting like the rest of the world should apologise - you're an adult, so act like one, take some responsibility for your life and realise that you can't keep blaming the actions of children when you were a child for your actions now as an adult. You might as well blame Father Christmas, or the Tooth Fairy.
(Chad, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 14:58, closed)

That bloody Father Christmas never brought me what I wanted.

Bastard.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 15:00, closed)

Get Help? Check
Yes, I am getting help, actually. Finally getting treated for depression. The prozac isn't making much of a difference, but there's still group therapy and counselling to come.
And no, I'm not mad at the world, but I *am* pissed off specifically at the people who've been posting "I never tried to fit in and my life's just fine (implied: more fool you for trying)". And yes, I *do* lack social skills, and I *am* working on that, too. It's not Asperger's-level bad, but I *am* awkward, and I don't know a lot of the mechanics of how to make friends and connect with people. As far as blaming the actions of children when I was a child? Well, it's not a question of blame - okay, I do have recurring revenge fantasies - but recognition that at a time when people are learning important skills about how to interact comfortably, I didn't. And I'm working on making up for that now.

Not so much angry, as sad. And, yes, self-pitying.
(MrCanoehead Marzipaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 15:34, closed)

I understand what you're saying
I too was pretty much an individual and refused to do anything in an attempt to "fit in". Looking back, if I had been a bit less intractable and more flexible, I would have had a better time and would have probably gained some important social skills which I am not strong in to this day.

Not that I'm complaining, just that "Be yourself and don't care about what anyone else thinks" is one of those crap platitudes that people spout that actually turn out to be pretty crappy advice in the real world. Kind-of like "ignore bullies and they'll go away". I always found that seeing them off with a bloody nose worked best for that.
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 16:23, closed)

true enough...
when I was a kid, the school bully beat me up a few times because he was a) big for his age and, b) three years above me. I could be self-pitying about it, or I could say "well, that was twenty years ago, so forget it" and still feel bad, or I could do what I actually did which was take the inevitable kicking, but hit him in the teeth with a hard-backed hymn book so he realised he'd get hurt if he tried it again. He left me alone and I got some life experience out of it.

I see so many tales on here of "oh, I was bullied and it ruined my life" - bollocks - you might have been bullied, but you did fuck all to fight back and you *let* it ruin your life.

The meek may well inherit the earth, but it'll only be after every other fucker has finished with it - these Emo-types need to grow some balls, stand up for themselves when people have a go and realise that no-one is perfect and that they might have been a bit of an obnoxious cock with their "I won't follow the crowd, you bunch of mindless sheep" attitude and soon they'll find that they're heading towards being a normal human being.
(Chad, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 16:37, closed)

sometimes the crowd is going in the right direction
that's my piece of wisdom for today
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 16:42, closed)

sense probably no friends with an attitude like that.

"So all you self-congratulatory "I never did anything to fit in, hooray for me" cuntsmugs can just Fuck. Right. Off."

Charming.
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 15:03, closed)

lets...
give him a wedgie and nick his sweets...
(Chad, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 15:15, closed)

Sounds like someone...
...needs to learn the difference between "not bothering to fit in" and "deliberately provoking hostility in order to wallow in it".

Wear a lot of black, do we sir?
(ubergeekian, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 15:55, closed)

perhaps...
... he's learnt to "deliberately provoke hostility" in order to fit in better with those who displayed hostility towards him already.
(haberman is singing in the changes, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 16:06, closed)

You know "ubergeek"
It's pretty difficult to pretend to be an average dipshit or even to put up with them when you are not one of them.

I know when I'm alone in the crowd, and I've learned that while I do prefer company much of the time, I prefer no company to bad company.

"Act like a dumbass and they'll treat you as an equal."
-J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
(Smoked Oysters Yes, magick helmet! And I will give you a sample!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 7:22, closed)

Assuming everyone else is an average dipshit and
thinking you're better than them all?

Christ, you sound like a miserable cunt. Get off your high horse, realise you're not better than everyone else, and perhaps you'll make some friends.
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:42, closed)

And that's just fine
This guy seems to be going out of his way to have something to wallow in. It's the difference between ignoring trendy haircuts and deliberating dyeing it ginger.
(ubergeekian, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:52, closed)

waaah waaaah waaah nobody wants to touch my peener
suck it up captain moanypants, jesus i got a fractured skull, broken nose, and mangled testicle from bullying as a kid and you don't hear me whining about it. quit wallowing in your little self-pity puddle behind your nice safe fence of 'i can't do that because you see, i had a bad time as a kid' and get on with life.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:05, closed)

Unreasonable expectations
How exactly do you anticipate fitting in and making friends when it seems you hold a grudge against everyone who you think had it easier than you? You say you never did anything to fit in but since when was going on the internet whining about being bullied and socially inept, "standing up to peer pressure, following your own path and ignoring what everyone else thinks"? A fundamental part of growing up is stating your own individuality, so there are probably more people around that understand the stuff you went through than you think. Trying your hardest not to fit in will never make you a universally loved human being, the sooner you come to terms with this, the better.
(Puddle of Sugar was still wallpapering on, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:18, closed)