Excellent
I'm glad to have this opportunity to present my manifesto for a brighter future.

- School classes are to be forced to watch eye-wateringly graphic gay porn whilst being shouted at about equal rights by a large hairy man in leather chaps

- We should put a restriction on the top jobs in government, so that they can only be held by Afro-Caribbean disabled lesbians

- Change the benefit system so that it is explicitly set up to reward the least deserving. I'm thinking we could increase payments based on how long you've been out of work, and possibly add special rewards for number of kids - over 5 and you get a £100,000 one off bonus payment.

- Set up a new government department which will use postcode data and records of house sales to calculate the most valuable areas for property in the whole of the country. We're then going to convert each area to an official graffiti tolerance zone, as well as locating a treatment centre for gypsies with AIDS slap bang in the middle.

- Finally, we're going to encourage the European Union to introduce more regulations on foodstuffs. I'm thinking in particular that we should declare that tea is only allowed to be called tea if it's green tea. Black tea is henceforth illegal, unless it's bought directly from the French and labelled 'French Tea', with a great big Tricolore on the packaging.

- And ban conkers in schools.

It'll be chaos, but hopefully Richard Littlejohn's head will explode, and I think that's worth it.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 13:18, Reply)