Fish Tanks
Keeping fish in your house is the exact same as keeping an albatross in an underground bunker at the bottom of your garden. Stop doing it, it’s unnatural and dumb.

Also, fish are exceptionally stupid and ugly creatures. If fish do, for some unfathomable reason, need to be kept, they should be kept in tanks made out of two-way mirrors so they can see out but I can only see my handsome face smiling back at me instead of some bulging-eyed, lump of effluence.

More to the point we should just fill the sea in, that way it’d get rid of all the fish and have the added bonus that I could drive to France for cheap wine and cigarettes instead of having to spend it sat on a ferry with grotty, soap dodging members of the general public and old people.

To fill the sea I would use mountains from France and Germany, then when I drive across Europe to Italy to buy new shoes it’d be flat so I’d not have to change gear at all. Thus saving my shoe leather and the environment twice! Once by driving in a higher gear and twice by not having to drive to Italy for shoes as often.

It should be noted that the new land would be an extension of England so we’d drive on the left. The French wouldn’t be allowed on it though as they drive on the right and that would be dangerous, health and safety and all.
( Dervel OTBC, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 14:52, 1 reply)

Jezza?

(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Mon 26 Sep 2011, 10:43, closed)