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This is a question B3TA fixes the world

Moon Monkey says: Turn into Jeremy Clarkson for a moment, and tell us about the things that are so obviously wrong with the world, and how they should be fixed. Extra points for ludicrous over-simplification, blatant mis-representation, and humourous knob-gags.

(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:53)
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Obviously wrong
1. Professional politicians
2. The agency theory of management
3. Richard Desmond's Northern & Shell porn mags

Problems:
1. They're identikit gobshites who have little or no real world experience and use 19th Century Oxford Union thinking to solve 21st Century problems, with predictable haphazard results.
2. It's supposed to align the interests of managers with those of shareholders, but since the vast majority of shares are owned by investment funds, which are managed by the same type of kleptocratic tossers that populate boardrooms, both investors and workers are shafted ragged by boardroom shysters who give each other vast pay packets and even vaster bonuses for doing the minimum required by their job description, then buggering off to the next cosy tenure before the corners they cut in the old one to make themselves look good enough to have been paid a bonus become visible.
3. Interwebs aside, all Northern & Shell pron for the last 25 years has been constructed from over-lavish premium rate phone ads and recycled 1980s photo sets of Charmaine Sinclair.

Solutions:

1. Require system of professional qualifications, licensing and regulation for anyone who wants to stand for election to anything so much as the committee of their local knitting circle. If you fiddle your expenses, favour those who've given you money, etc., you summarily lose your licence and your position regardless of any criminal or civil proceedings.
2. Pay bonuses based on performance now versus predicted performance 10 years ago. So you have to stay in a job for 10 years before you see a penny.
3. The only photography permitted in any Northern & Shell title, including Express Newspapers and OK magazine, are to be comprised of Richard Desmond and Martin Ellice being noshed off by flea-infested stray dogs. At gunpoint. Live footage of the same photoshoot to replace the entire output of every single Endemol production until that Bazalgette git gets the hint and retrains as a civil engineer like his useful ancestor.
(, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:37, Reply)

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