The Gallows Factor
Not that I've given this much thought, but there should be posters around ex-industrial towns saying "Free Bus Service to Jeremy Kyle Show". Then every Saturday afternoon, the buses leave Bradford, Keighly, Rotherham et al filled with some of Britains finest job seekers, and converge on the TV studios at Teddington.

Here's the surprise. Instead of being on "Jeremy Kyle" the are now on "Britain's Got Capital Punishment - The Gallows Factor".

The "contestants" have 10 minutes each to describe their worth, and then a panel of judges from Surrey get to describe their fate.

Third Prize gets a good birching
Second Price gets forced sterilisation
But the winner is hung by the neck until dead.

Guest mentors shall include Michael Barrymore, and it's round to his gaff for the pool party.

Apart from the pool party, I'd watch that kind of show of a Saturday night.


Oh - and National Service. I wouldn't give the bastards guns, but I'd make all the unemployed yoof do a service. They can start by filling in pot holes to make cyclists happy.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 13:00, 5 replies)

"Hanged by the neck"
I think you'll find.

Otherwise, a fair and proportionate response to a real life problem, I think.
(Mork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 13:04, closed)

Thanks for the correction.
I'm a Blue Sky Thinker and not one for the constraints of accurate details.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 13:09, closed)

Hung or hanged are both fine.
The funny thing about this passive is you could read it to mean the neck does the hanging.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 13:28, closed)

My mistake.
Hanged it is.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 13:31, closed)

*votes hard*

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 13:38, closed)