This isn't supposed to happen in real life, but...
My friend really was invited round to an attractive girl's room for a seeming mundane reason only to 'find' her at it with another girl. And they invited him to join in too. And it wasn't a dream - it really happened.

Basically, during a night of heavy drinking back in our student days, he got a text from a girl he'd been chatting to earlier in the night asking him to come to her room as she needed his 'help' with something.

He leaves the college bar and heads round to her room only to find the door unlocked and her and another girl from our year semi-naked on the bed, one of them smearing the other's breasts in chocolate Haagen-Dazs.

Now, for most red-blooded, hetero, male teenagers this would be one of the best things you could ever stumble across. For him, however, his drunken mind spoiled the moment.

You see, he put the fact he'd watched her knocking back the snakebite earlier in the night together with the text message asking for help and reasoned that rather than an invitation to join a threesome, what he saw before him was a girl who was so drunk she'd shat herself being incompetently cleaned up by her friend, who was so pissed herself that she'd just ended up making the situation worse by smearing the aforementioned shit all over the place.

He exclaimed 'I'm NOT getting involved in that', turned on his heel, and walked out.

The worse bit about it was that they both kept apologising for offending him for the next couple of days while he was internally kicking himself over and over again for being such an idiot.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 10:33, 25 replies)

I don't believe a word of it...
... but it's well told.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 10:37, closed)

Entirely true...
He's one of those people stuff like this seems to happen to. And he always cocks it up somehow...
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 10:40, closed)

Something very similar happened to me once too
I cried for months over that missed threesome opportunity. Seriously. Life's a bitch.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 10:40, closed)

Could be worse
Another guy I know did actually get involved in a threesome. Unfortunately it was of the two blokes-one girl type, and it quickly became apparent that the girl was only interested in his friend. He was left sat on the edge of the bed watching.

Feeling a bit guilty, his mate reached over and wanked him off. Ewwww....

Since these are the only two people I know who have either been involved in threesomes or come close, I've kind of gone off the idea.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 10:50, closed)

That's nasty
On the third occasion that I was presented with the possibilty of a threesome, one of the girls was a lesbian, so I didn't get to touch her at all :C

The one mentioned above was the second time I'd been offered one, the first time I was with a fat slapper who stank of marlboro lights, and an anaemic midget. The anaemic midget's mother (who looked like Leo Sayer) caught us just before things got interesting. THANK GOD.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 10:57, closed)

Have you
posted a story on this?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 11:08, closed)

I think I might have mentioned it before
I can't remember.

Have you read a similar story before? Or are you Steve? -if you are Steve, I'm sorry man, I know she's your sister, but she jumped me.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 11:10, closed)

Brilliant!
Nah, just was curious as it sounds like a good yarn!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 11:11, closed)

I'm pretty sure I have
but I'll have to re-post the whole story if a 'Have you ever nearly had a threesome with two sadistic, hideous slappers only to be caught by a very strange looking woman?' QOTW comes up.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 11:14, closed)

I've been waiting for a QOTW on threesomes for ages
but alas it has never happened, so I'm just telling the stories anyway.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 11:18, closed)

I'm surprised there hasn't been one
It seems like a pretty obvious QOTW doesn't it? I've used up both my stories now but it sounds like there's quite a few good ones out there judging from the above.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 11:25, closed)

Me too
Suggest it as a question Mrs, you're bound to get picked because you've got norks.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 11:25, closed)

I'm bored
with threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes. Really, the magic does wear off pretty quickly, although the first couple of times are fucking brilliant (brilliant fucking). As a single bloke spending my nights out at swingers clubs and parties, what I really really would like is an unrushed 1 to 1, in a private room, with a permanent, monogamous partner. Sad, aint it?

Actually, with the odd 2 girl encounter now and again, they are still pretty damned special, despite what I said above!

Oh, and if anyone is thinking of trying to set up a 3some with their partner, FFS, remember NO ALCOHOL. The nights I have seen slowly turning sour as people sober up and begin to regret their actions......tragic.
(Rsoles, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 11:39, closed)

Hmm
Sage advice there mate, or better yet, do it with people you quite like, but aren't in love with.. 'cos it can get very very messy, alcohol or no..
Messier yet when her boyfriend comes home. Oh deary deary me....
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 11:47, closed)

If
you have to get yourself, or her, pissed, or if you have to do any persuading/whinging ("You would do it if you loved me..."), trust me, it will end in tears, possibly expensive ones if you are trying it with the love of your life.
Another tip for couples - don't get her best friend in because they are both curious. Fucking hell, if anything has a huge DANGER sign over it, that has, but still people do it. Unbelievably stupid. You can guarantee the Mrs will be counting the strokes in her best friend, and if she gets 1 more than her......."You prefer her, boo hoo".


If anyone from the Sun is reading this, I'm free to do a Dear Rsoles column.
(Rsoles, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 12:05, closed)

Nasty.
Why he hadn't left already I don't know, but when his mate reached over and began manhandling his todger, it surely should have told him it's time to leave.
( Moey, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 10:59, closed)

Yeah, that's what I thought
Apparently he felt like it would be embarrassing if he left.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 11:26, closed)

...but if he, y'know
finished , doesn't that make him a ghey?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 11:27, closed)

Yep, he finished.
He's with a girl nowadays and as far as I know this is the only male-on-male handjob he's ever had. I just can't understand why he told people at work this story.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 11:30, closed)

Attention
or perhaps some clandestine man lovin'?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 11:34, closed)

Me too
I was too drunk to take the situation in hand (as it were)
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 10:49, closed)

sleepy me
I feel asleep during a 3some with 2 hot Aussie surfer chicks. I got as far as a finger in each before nodding off in an alcoholic, cannabis fueled stupor :0(
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 10:58, closed)

whilst
we're making up sex stories. My mate was at a party and got pretty pissed. Crawled upstairs, found a bedroom full of coats, pushed them all on the floor and crawled in his lovely soft coat bed. He woke later to the sounds of 2 naked girls going at it on the bed, oblivious to the coat-hermit in their midst.

After watching for a while, he decided to crack one out and enjoyed himself all over some random coats. On finishing, one of the girls looked over to him and just smiled and then went back to whatever she had been doing. He hadnt realised the coats had shifted and he was basically lying quite exposed for all to see.

I think it got a bit awkward trying to leave the room though.

Still, live lezzie porn. Cant be wrong.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 11:40, closed)

Why did he not
just toss himself off bukkake-ing the girl rather than going for the handjob off his mate.

You have to make an effort sometimes!!
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 12:52, closed)

Weirdly, almost exactly the same thing happened to my friend,
a Japanese exchange student (hi Hero if you're on b3ta)

He said that he didn't freak out, because he just assumed this kind of thing must be more common in the West!

Anyway yeah, called to their room on a pretext (by phone rather than text, as this was before everyone had a mobile), two girls, chocolate ice-cream, assumed it was poo...

"Ice cream?" he cried,

"Oh, I'm so sorry - I thought you wanted to have sex."
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 17:52, closed)