Praying
I am not religious, my parents didn't christen me and I have never been to church for anything other than weddings and funerals. However I do have the typical wants and desires that I may or may not get depending on effort and basic chance. In these situations I often feel the urge to pray in order to improve my chances of getting what I want. However, this would make me feel like a hypocrite as I’m not convinced that there is an almighty creator, and if there is, surely begging him for selfish reasons is only going to incur his wrath and lesson my chance of success.

Therefore I need a different figure to pray to. After careful consideration I have decided to try praying to Enzyme. Now before you write me off as a nutcase here are some similarities he shares with my current receiver of prayer:-

1) I've never met him.
2) I don't know his real name
3) I'm not sure what he looks like
4) He's responsible for a couple of books being written
5) He's knowledgeable
6) People have pointless arguments over stuff he’s written
7) I wont know if my success or failure can be attributed to having prayed to him

He also seems like the kind of guy that gets things done which is a quality I am looking for in a focal point for my prayers. It will be interesting to see if I can improve on my current success hit rate with this new figurehead for my prayers.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 16:26, 10 replies)

The Church Of Latterday Enzymes.
I'll join.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 19 Mar 2009, 16:28, closed)

Amen.
Enzyme be praised.
( IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis most likely working from home on, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 16:39, closed)

Good choice...

You could do a lot worse.

I have heard his wisdom first hand and can confirm that he positively encourages the consumption of alcomahol...

does that make me an Enzyme's witness?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 19 Mar 2009, 16:49, closed)

The true path of Enzyme
Only I know what the Great Enzyme truly says and wishes for us.
.
.
.
Now you must give me all of your money, your pretty wives, girlfriends, and daughters, your valuable possessions and then I, and only I, will put you on the righteous path of Enzyme without which your enzymes will have only single active sites and you will burn in hell forever.

Sorry, but after listening to all the religious wing nuts scream against gay marriage being proposed in Vermont, I felt a need to become an evangelical too. Enzyme will smite me now!
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 11:46, closed)

Here here!!!
I forward that motion - Praise be to Enzyme!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 16:49, closed)

Shamelessly
jumps on board *click*
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 17:22, closed)

I'll follow him
in a half-arsed way, ofc...
(venort apparently exists, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 17:28, closed)

Join me brothers and sisters in PRAISE!
*Cod "fire and brimstone redneck preacher voice - on.*


Join me brothers and sisters!

For we are here at the birth of a new church!

Join me brothers and sisters, cry out to him.

Testify!

Can I hear an "Allosteric"!*

















*Look it up. I had to.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 17:38, closed)

Allestorise me born-again.
Hopefully this will be an activative religion, not an inhibitive one.
(Helixdaunting, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 22:28, closed)

Any more room on your bandwagon?
Glory to the Enzyme! We shall flock to your Allosteric (yay wikipedia!) Site annually as a pilgrammage! Cast us a sign of the location your Squishiness!
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Fri 20 Mar 2009, 12:30, closed)