The Wake and World War II
Like most Catholics, I've seen my fair share of dead bodies.

I remember when I was five or six my mum and dad packed me into the Opel Cadet and drove me round to my grandparents house. I'd been restaging the dramatic finale to Star Wars in the garden at the time so I was pretty pissed off. I sat, arms crossed tightly across my chest, dressed up in my best Sunday gear, with my bottom lip sticking out so far you could've built a ski resort on it.

So, we get to my grandparents place and I notice all the family are there doing the wedding scene from the Godfather. Only this time everyone appears sad, and everyones wearing black.

I charge into the living room and see my great auntie. She's not looking too good. In fact, she's dead and laid out on the dining room table.

My eyes go wide - I'd never seen a dead body before. She looked peaceful, almost as if she was sleeping. Being an inquisitive little twat I scurry over to her and give her a bit of a poke.

"Spanky!" shouts my mum.

I look round with a big smile on my face - seeing a dead body was actually more fun than playing Star Wars. But then I notice everyone else seems sad, the family is in mourning for this little old lady who would always try to force cups of tea into me when she was alive.

Then I remembered something I saw on TV the other day while I was watching one of those old black and white war films with my dad. The fella on the film did this when his mate karked it, so in my five year old mind it seemed the appropriate thing to do.

I dropped to my knees, shook my fist at the heavens and screamed:

"JESUS! WHY!?! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE SOMEONE SO YOUNG!?!"

...silence...

After the initial shock, my mum locked me in the car with some biscuits for company until they were ready to come home.

That was a result in my book.

They were very nice biscuits.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 24 Mar 2009, 11:54, 7 replies)

Office lol!
"Like most Catholics, I've seen my fair share of dead bodies."

Quote of the day. Congratulations.
(jackhiggs no longer a v!rgin as of..., Tue 24 Mar 2009, 12:20, closed)

I'm not Catholic either
but I've seen a fair few bodies, mostly caused by me though, so not such a shock.


(Kip, Tue 24 Mar 2009, 17:51, closed)

Ha!
I've never actually seen a dead body. At 31 I have been to my fair share of funerals but I have never felt the urge to "say goodbye" to a corpse.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 24 Mar 2009, 12:25, closed)

Now
thats just beautiful!
(Errin C, Tue 24 Mar 2009, 12:57, closed)

clicks
Thats great, thanks Spanky!
(Grrrrr Tigers, Tue 24 Mar 2009, 12:58, closed)

click
Beautifully written as always
.
(whiskas loved by 8 out of 10 cats, Tue 24 Mar 2009, 13:18, closed)

Like most catholics....
Me too. when my Dad was laid out, my brother remarked:

"He looks really really peaceful."

Pause.

"Really really dead too."

Have a click.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Tue 24 Mar 2009, 13:44, closed)