Mr.Entwistle says...
"My History folder got me a nice free flight back to the USA, with my own U.S. Marshall accompanying me...fucksocks"

www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/02/13/entwistle.documents.ap/index.html
(The Graduate Adding to the confusion since 1974, Wed 15 Feb 2006, 20:43, Reply)

Bloody newfandangled P2P apps....
I rarely use torrents anymore, having moved on to usenet instead, but I still potter about in the seedy world of porn a la bit torrent.

A few days ago, I downloaded a new BT app to try out, having been fed up of Azureus' resource-hogging shenanigans. This was called 'ptorrent' (except cut the top off the p - I have no idea how to type that, let alone say it).

All is going well, as it minimises to the system tray when you minimise it, and I've hidden the shared folder well enough so that my missus, who's not too tech savvy, isn't likely to find it. And so I set about downloading some filth.

I come home about 9 hours later to find that this 'wondeful' little program has cheerfully ratted on me by telling anyone keen enough to turn my monitor on that it has 'Finished Downloading "One In The Pink, One In The Stink"* in 2.5 hours' in a nice little pop-up balloon emnating, pointed-finger style, from the system tray. Fucksocks.

Cue the usual 'this bloody computers got some sort of virus, dammit, bloody thing, grrr' type talk, and much earnest virus-checking, just to look good. I think it worked...







*may not actually be the name of the dirty material. Or, it might very well be.
(phookoo, Wed 15 Feb 2006, 20:28, Reply)

my first post........
google autocompleted my husband's ex girlfriend website in my computer... but true challenge was when internet was running slow and I checked for heavy downloads in his computer and found black teenager was there with truly tiring manners impossible to reproduce...
(jojoniteroi, Wed 15 Feb 2006, 20:14, Reply)

similar to most stories, but hey
Me and my brother both use the same computer (it's an iMac, but that's a different story). We also use a p2p program that apparantly downloads pron films by itself. My brother, whom i'll call Rumpelstiltzkin, for sake of using an interesting name, says that these files are downloaded without him knowing, although it never seems to happen when i use the program. He always deletes them when me or him 'find' them

Coincidence?

Anyway, while using quicktime to play a music video, get bored and look in the recent items list...hey presto, 'Fucking Machines Aria Giovanni HOT dildo'...

I mean, the program *might* download the files themselves, but i doubt quicktime plays videos for it's own amusement...
(Pavlov'sDog is all out of pavlova, Wed 15 Feb 2006, 19:18, Reply)

I'm paranoid...
... so paranoid that I switch auto complete off and regularly delete my temporary internet files... I freak out if someone even looks over my shoulder while I'm on the internet. All this and I have never looked at porn in the 9 years I've had an internet connection O_O I'm not repressed!
Anywho, I do have a friend who was trying to fix her step dad's computer when google autocomplete dropped down to show entries for 'busty teenage girls and their dogs'.
At the time she was a busty teenage girl, with a dog. How wrong? So wrong.
( litzigig, Wed 15 Feb 2006, 18:43, Reply)

Help the aged
A good few years ago now, I was round at my mates house and his mum was wanting to print out some document on the computer. She asked for help.

Clicked on documents from the start menu , up popped list of recently viewed documents. Out of mild curiousity I couldn't resist clicking on one of the JPEG files "by accident". Up pops picture of lovely young lady busily fisting herself.

Shocked Mother: "OH! Where did that come from?"
Me (spluttering with laughter): "From teh intehnet"

He has since learnt to cover his tracks when looking at teh pron...
(nattyplatypus Is flippin eck, Wed 15 Feb 2006, 16:37, Reply)

Not a computer
But my phone.

I had pictures of my girlfriend doing things and me doing them to her.

A mate of mine started going through my phone and stumbled across one of her wantonly suckign me off. He was rather shocked.

Not really trouble, but he was quite shocked.

On reflection, that's a shit story. Apologies.
(ElWeisserino, Wed 15 Feb 2006, 16:15, Reply)

I've just bought a webcam
Now I'm absolutely terrified it'll catch me out somehow :S
( useful_idiot, Wed 15 Feb 2006, 15:47, Reply)

Dirty Pr0n dialler
Many years ago, when I was a real PC newb I was having trouble with my dial-up conncetion.
So I was forced to phone the wallet-knackering BT helpdesk.

The guy managed to navigate me to the network connections screen and asked what I could see.
'Um, create a new connection, BT Anythime, and er XXXShagnastyDialler...'
It was one of those things that you just read out without thinking it through first.
There was a soft chuckle from the other end of the phone and we continued to check out the problem.
The smug bastard never thought to suggest that I delete the offending item...

Helpdesk my arse.
(JonnyMX, Wed 15 Feb 2006, 14:07, Reply)

dirty dog
I work in a respectable academic lab across from a booze hound Russian research scientist. Only yesterday while we were all getting ready to do a graduation precesion the good Dr left the room to grab a sobering coffee. While he was gone my mate closed his still running e-mail to reveal a man being done up the arse by an Alsation. Hard. We reopened the window and left it on there. Whatever gets you through the day comrade.
(Jumper, Wed 15 Feb 2006, 13:47, Reply)

Why did I ever do it?
I was daft enough to get both my Mum and my Dad a computer each. They're divorced, so it's rather inconvenient to make them share one.

One day while trying to find a file my Dad had lost (turns out it was on a CD, never actually on the hard disk) I came across some pictures of ladies in the all-together. Fair play to him I say. And would have left it at that.

Except about 10 seconds after my discovery he comes barreling up the stairs, incoherently blabbering something about not looking in a certain folder because "I've already checked there".

I took some perverse pleasure in saying "You're right, it's just full of porn."
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Wed 15 Feb 2006, 13:46, Reply)

Autocuntplete again.
When returning from work one day i was greeted with an icy welcome and the rather tricky question "did you find any dirty college sluts then?"

*choke*
(beebolbod for those that are hard of hearing - LISTEN, Wed 15 Feb 2006, 13:03, Reply)

It's just not the done thing....
A mate of mine works in a school.

Whilst the rest of us in the ratrace were mindful of our IT depts new (this was a few years ago now) covert monitoring shenanigans and had moderated our viewing, he was still investigating the vilest of sites to be seen, blissfully unaware that his most horrific sexual curiosities were being recorded as evidence.

One day he was called into 'the office' (a mythical place where 'they' conduct meetings) and was confronted by a panel of superiors comprised of male and female people types.

They were very serious and proceeded to explain that he was in there because of his internet viewing history.

My friend is a very cool guy so he tried to style it out by denying all knowledge of such shady viewing. A master plan indeed.

Anticipating this, one of the board pulled out a list of the visited sites and started to read..."donkeyfuckers.com, hugecocksex.com, arsefucking.com" etc etc. (apparently this list went on for quite a while).

Now i would have shit myself on the spot and just got my coat and fucked off, but being the cool chap he is, he managed to somehow explain that it was by following links from mates which had popups etc and it wasn't really his fault.

Somehow he saved his job. Jammy cunt.
(beebolbod for those that are hard of hearing - LISTEN, Wed 15 Feb 2006, 12:56, Reply)