Grandparents
My awesome grandad flew in Wellingtons in the war. Damn, those shortages were terrible. Tell us about brilliant-stroke-rubbish grandparents.
Suggested by Buffet the Appetite Slayer
( , Thu 2 Jun 2011, 21:51)
My awesome grandad flew in Wellingtons in the war. Damn, those shortages were terrible. Tell us about brilliant-stroke-rubbish grandparents.
Suggested by Buffet the Appetite Slayer
( , Thu 2 Jun 2011, 21:51)
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My great grandfather was an army chaplain during the First World War.
He survived the whole thing, the carnage, the waste, the horror, and then was reported MIA in the last week - the last week - after going into No Man's Land to administer last rites.
His then-girlfriend received a telegram two weeks later, saying.
NOT DEAD STOP HOME TUESDAY STOP WILL YOU MARRY ME STOP.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:44, 40 replies)
He survived the whole thing, the carnage, the waste, the horror, and then was reported MIA in the last week - the last week - after going into No Man's Land to administer last rites.
His then-girlfriend received a telegram two weeks later, saying.
NOT DEAD STOP HOME TUESDAY STOP WILL YOU MARRY ME STOP.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:44, 40 replies)
NO THERE WAS NOT AND IT WAS PROVED IN A COURT OF LAW THAT THERE WASN'T!
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:03, closed)
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:03, closed)
A court of law
corrupted by someone with access to a time machine and a condom?
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:04, closed)
corrupted by someone with access to a time machine and a condom?
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:04, closed)
Yes, yes, that's perfectly true.
Seriously - do you think it needs editing for clarity?
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:07, closed)
Seriously - do you think it needs editing for clarity?
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:07, closed)
I'll guess
She said yes but when he got back she was already pregnant with 8 babies from 9 different fathers
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:17, closed)
She said yes but when he got back she was already pregnant with 8 babies from 9 different fathers
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:17, closed)
My Gran didn't suck of yanks for nylons
She drew them on with bisto
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:31, closed)
She drew them on with bisto
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:31, closed)
Oh, I read 'drew them on' as 'tempted them'
I just assumed she rubbed it on her lady bits.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:35, closed)
I just assumed she rubbed it on her lady bits.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:35, closed)
I take it you've never heard of the practice of drawing stockings on their legs with gravy then?
With an eyeliner line up the back
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:36, closed)
With an eyeliner line up the back
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:36, closed)
Your gran
took eyeliner up the back?
Was 'eyeliner' the nickname of the look out?
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:38, closed)
took eyeliner up the back?
Was 'eyeliner' the nickname of the look out?
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:38, closed)
Yes, but that's boring - tell us about your gran sucking off lots of American men in exchange for gravy.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:39, closed)
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:39, closed)
Well, the gravy's pretty much guaranteed,
Especially if she took her teeth out first.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:43, closed)
Especially if she took her teeth out first.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:43, closed)
I think taking the gravy back to share with her family
was abit much though.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:48, closed)
was abit much though.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:48, closed)
Unfortunatly my gran is only 70
so didn't suck off any yanks in WWII.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:48, closed)
so didn't suck off any yanks in WWII.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:48, closed)
Hey man! You don't know man! You don't know!
She was there man! She was there in the shit! With the grunts man!
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:59, closed)
She was there man! She was there in the shit! With the grunts man!
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:59, closed)
It's definitely more satisfying wearing silky smooth stockings when you had to work for them.
Wait...what?
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:32, closed)
Wait...what?
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:32, closed)
...who all eventually married,
producing 16 web fingered great-grandchildren?
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:20, closed)
producing 16 web fingered great-grandchildren?
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:20, closed)
I think it needs editing for fun.
Unfortunately, we can't edit it :-(
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:09, closed)
Unfortunately, we can't edit it :-(
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:09, closed)
She said no but the dirty old cunt raped her anyway.
You know what those clergy types are like - if they're not nonces, they're slavering rapists. All of them.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:21, closed)
You know what those clergy types are like - if they're not nonces, they're slavering rapists. All of them.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:21, closed)
You say that like it's a bad thing
But you know how jealous you are inside.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:45, closed)
But you know how jealous you are inside.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:45, closed)
NOT DEAD STOP HOME TUESDAY STOP WILL YOU MARRY ME STOP.
HAMMER TIME
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:25, closed)
HAMMER TIME
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:25, closed)
HAAaaaaaaaaaaaa
I wish to find a telegram-sender now just so that I can send this!
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:35, closed)
I wish to find a telegram-sender now just so that I can send this!
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:35, closed)
Better that than
STOP COLLABORATE AND LISTEN
Which would have sent an entirely wrong message during that period of history.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 15:15, closed)
STOP COLLABORATE AND LISTEN
Which would have sent an entirely wrong message during that period of history.
( , Fri 3 Jun 2011, 15:15, closed)
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