A Guy
in our Office - he is about 30st+ very round heavy bloke, looks abit like a very large ball. What makes this worse is that he is actually a very nice person.

One day in work, you know you go through those periods where no-one really speaks and are cracking on with the work.

All of a sudden we heard a Crash bang, then a yelp.
We stood up to see Ian like an up turned turtle rolling from side to side trying to stand up.
He had broken the chair, when i say broken it, i mean crushed. I dont know whether you've tried to, but office chairs are kind of hard to break. The wheels, the arms, the back, all in pieces.

....and next to this pile of broken plastic - a man huffing and puffing on his back

Meanwhile everyone all around the room where wheezing and hiding their faces behind their screens they were laughing so hard.


It must have been so embarrassing for him.


but that's not the worst bit...

This has happened twice to him ....
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:55, 6 replies)

In lectures in the 1st year at uni
one of the composition professors, quite a portly chap (he's a out-and-proud bear, but that's another story for another time) went to the piano to demonstrate something-or-other. He sat down heavily on the piano stool, which broke with a loud *crack*. He stood up, turned it around and sat down again very gingerly, balancing on the edge of it as one does on the edge of a particularly grotty loo seat.

This was done in the very specific silence that only 30 people trying desperately not to laugh can produce.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:06, closed)

A manager at work, who will remain nameless, went to the loo one day, newspaper under arm, etc. There was a crash, followed by swearing, followed by an embarrassed call for help over the radio. He'd sat down on the throne and the floor had given way, leaving him trapped in a spreading pool of water. Nice.
(hypostomus, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:10, closed)

This happened to a kid in school
Year 7. Sits in chair, chair falls to pieces. Whole class *except me* burst out laughing. I, for some reason, remain stony-faced and help him up. Now, despite my act of charity, I'm given detention along with the rest of the class (except the chairbreaker, obviously) for being insensitive.

From then on I've spurned charity and now I just laugh at other people's misfortune.
( Pretender, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:14, closed)

I went to uni with a rotund fatfuck
on a field trip to thailand (geography degree) we were using a tuctuc/rickshaw to get somewhere, or other. The driver had to tell him in broken english to sit in the middle or we'd tip over on the corners.

That's a sign it's time to stop trying to beat the Chang Mai Pizza Hut record for most slices of pizza eaten right there.

Even worse he was 4 slices short of the record. Try harder fatty.
(Pat_Gash, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:50, closed)

Life! Death! Prizes!
My friend spotted this headline on the cover of Chat magazine and we giggled especially hard at the section in brackets.


( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:55, closed)

Normal office gas lift chairs...
... are only rated for about 16 stone, so the company needs to get him a sturdier model before he gets on the blower to Claims Direct.

If not, can I suggest that you instead set up a camcorder to capture the next such fall from grace and claim 250 quids from You've Been Framed.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Fri 23 Jul 2010, 20:07, closed)