Being Jewish
I think having any religion can sometimes put the 'batshit mental' into 'religious fundamentalism', but Judaism really takes the matza balls when it comes to meshugganeh.
(For example, the Jewish festival of Succot: Sitting in a tent in your back garden, in October, waving a tree around whilst smelling a lemon and mumbling in Hebrew. Insane in the hashem-brane fo sho)

Anyway, I have three main habits I can think of, thanks to the todger reduction surgery I had as an infant:

Keeping Kosher
basic rules here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kashrut

My answers to questions I often get:
That's right, I really can't eat that pork/cheeseburger/sperm whale you are offering, but thanks for the offer.
No, "taking out the unkosher bits" still won't let me eat that heathen conconction before mine eyes (praise the Lord, Amen brother)
and finally
No, I'm not explaining Succot again. It was probably a prank to wind up the ancient Greeks that went on for way too long.

Inserting Yiddish into speech
I don't sweat, I schvitch. I think Piers Morgan is a shmuck, but George Galloway is a proper mamzer. Half of my vocabulary starts with sch.

Sacrificing Christian children
Not for Passover mind, purely for the lulz.

p.s. I'm not actually that religious (I'm agnostic before you ask), I follow the traditions for reasons of Pascal's Wager, free food (thanks mum) and the challenge (after all, if I can resist eating bacon, I can resist.. I dunno, laundering money or something?)
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:37, 4 replies)

Fair enough on your other reasons, but Pascal's Wager only increases your chances by one compared to an Atheist.
( Sheriff John Bunnell https://twitter.com/thewonderfulgam, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:44, closed)

Nah, has to increase my chances by 10
Cos ten is a nice round number.
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:59, closed)

So is 100

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 14:32, closed)

I'd say it increases your chances by zero.
For any theory that God will let you into Heaven only if you do X, you can come up with an opposite theory that God will let you into Heaven only if you don't do X.

And a God who sends to Hell for eating kosher isn't particularly more bizarre or arbitrary than one who wants you to liberate Jerusalem from the infidel, to name one popular concept.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 16:19, closed)

Pascal's Wager actually decreases your chances of getting it right.
Because, poor parochial Christianitycentric box thinking fool that he was, he forgot about all the other gods that his genius idea could possibly apply to. What about all the gods that we don't even know about?

Also, bear in mind that it doesn't deal with behaviour, but solely with belief.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 20:22, closed)

my dad
doesnt really do anything in terms of keeping to the rules judaically, but there's one thing he can't stop himself from doing, and that's eating matza at pesach. it's okay if he has ham in his matza, but he won't eat bread / yeast products. bizarre and he acknowledges it too :D

me, i just stopped caring about 5 years ago and haven't looked back with regret since :)
(zenmeban thinks the weather could be better, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 15:57, closed)

Sounds about fair enough
I have interpreted Shabbat to mean 'laze about in thine undercrackers', rather than all the synagogue-going and praying and stuff.
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 20:05, closed)

I heard some people
talking on the radio a little while back about what it means to be Jewish, and they expressed this concept of being culturally jewish but not religious. And within this idea of Jewish culture there are groups of Jews who celebrate jewish traditions/festivals/customs for reasons of ethnic rather than religious identity.
Similar, I guess, to how agnostic/athiest/CofE people happily sing carols and celebrate christmas but aren't really religious.
I must say I like the idea that you can keep your cultural inheritance even though you might not believe all the religious baggage that goes along with it.
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 17:10, closed)

I reckon about half of the Jews I know don't keep anything whatsoever
They see being culturally Jewish as hanging with Jews, family etc. The general attitude to that is "Hey, it's up to you, it's none of my business. Just find a good husband/wife. But make sure she's not French*"

*Something my Dad adds to wind my Mum up
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:14, closed)