HecklesForget the drunk bloke at the back yelling incoherent nonsense. Sometimes a well placed heckle can raise a mediocre act to a brilliant night out.
Tell us your best heckles and, if you are brave, the retorts that put you back in your place like the maggot you are.
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chthonic, Thu 6 Apr 2006, 13:13)
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and at an amateur stand-up gig....On an impromptu (read stoned and unexpectedly flush with cash) sojourn across the water to Tasmania, I fell into some great company and discovered a party for that very night...score!
Turns out there were acrobats, singers, and some amateur stand-up comedians. After a few resident cocktails- the now-infamous Doris Daze- and spliffs found forgotten in my handbag, I began chatting and giggling in the crowd, while transfixed by the plumber's cleavage in front of me, with glitter from the young lady's hair adorning its unselfconscious nekkidness.
A young woman got up and started telling jokes about her newly maternal life, including the usual about the wanky bollocksy names people give their kids nowadays (I actually saw a website with pictures of newborn baby girl *Pepper* this week! The humanity!).
She began poking fun at the antics of a screaming mother at her playgroup desperately trying to call to order her terrible ADD toddler.....who was named Tranquility.
"TRANQUILITY!!! GET HERE NOW!!! STOP BITING THAT OTHER KID OR NO MORE RED CORDIAL FOR YOU!!!"
At this point, I couldn't let the image that sprang to mind go to waste without sharing it with my newfound friends...
"Hey, did she call him Tranny for short?"
I scored a night's accommodation and a 2 hour lift back to the port I was leaving from off the back of that one. Result!
Length? Please consider it when naming your bloody chav kids, or they could end up with an inappropriate moniker and get beaten up at school.
*Funny, my b3ta cherry twanged a lot louder than the real one*
(, Fri 7 Apr 2006, 4:39, Reply)
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