The Friday Night Project
shittest thing on TV with or without Jimmy Carr, straight Greham Norton just does not work...

anyway, about a year ago, when Jimmy Carr did present, me and my now ex-girlfriend went to go see it at the London Studios after arranging for me to ask Kelly Osbourne a question.

I was well excited because my question, which had been accepted by the prodution team (over the phone!) was:

"Kelly having now such a successful music career and life as a part time model, has it ever struck you to take a leaf out of your mum's book and sort your face out?"

I was so excited that I would get to do this on telly, as any counter-culture piss taking cunt such as myself would be.

We had arranged to meet the production team in the pub over the road so that's where we went rather than directly to the studio. I was a little disgruntled about not being able to queue as they were handing out free beer to everyone. Cunts. Got in the pub, met the team and they are giving out bits of paper with peoples questions. However these questions were not ones sent in, just ones made by the complete and utterly guest pleasing production tem...I got the last one left and was not happy: "Kelly what kind of guy turns you on?"

Fuck a duck, not happy!

Got to asking the question after the most lifeless hour of my life which would later be cut to make 15 minutes worth of footage. I stood up and gave a pervy smile for comedy effect and then went "Kelly....so...what kind of guy really tuurns you oooon?!"

Sharply responded to with "Not you!"

I then pull a complete Paxman and shout from my seat

"I think I speak for all the men in this room when I say that the feeling's mutual!"

I was cut...what a bunch of cocks, that was the funniest thing to happen all night.
( Grundlebiscuit, Sun 9 Apr 2006, 19:04, Reply)