Well If I Was Jewish
then I'd be proper fucked. Straight to hell for me. I mean look at the commandments. We've got 10, they've got 613.

www.religionfacts.com/judaism/practices/613.htm

I mean, you're not even allowed to eat grapes!.


So, which one of those commandments would you find most difficult to keep?

Edit: Me? I reckon I wouldn't be able to:

Break the neck of a calf by the river valley following an unsolved murder Deut. 21:4

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:19, 13 replies)

Well I think eating non kosher maggots would be my downfall.....Ew!
.
( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:28, closed)

Well,
I last bowed down on smooth stone in the toilets of my local last night - the stone was really cool on my face and felt nice. I embarrassed my girlfriend in the pub last night too by getting absolutely shitfaced and, in the sophisticated way I've become accustomed to, grabbed her boobs with both hands and made honking noises. Oh, and I've lost count of the number of times I've stopped third-generation Eqyptian converts marrying into the Jewish people.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:29, closed)

well, to start..
Not to hate fellow Jews Lev. 19:17 - cos im a Nazi

Not to love the missionary Deut. 13:9 - who doesnt love the missionary!?

Although doggy is good too.

Men must not shave the hair off the sides of their head Lev. 19:27 - my chops grow all patchy and look rubbish - still doesnt stop me trying to be a good Jew.

Not to eat chametz on the afternoon of the 14th day of Nisan Deut. 16:3 - aw man! I love chametz, especially in a Nissan, or indeed, any thrifty Japanese mid-range car.

The rapist must marry the maiden (if she chooses) Deut. 22:29 - alas, she said i was rubbish in bed!

Not to have homosexual sexual relations with your father's brother Lev. 18:14 - he said it was our special secret



this could go on forever.
Jews are mentalists.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:29, closed)

If You Check
You can't bum your father but you can bum your fathers fathers.

Anything not forbidden must be permitted...
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:41, closed)

sweet!
he's got a tight (wrinkly) arse!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:47, closed)

hahaha
33 rocks!

To burn a city that has turned to idol worship
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:36, closed)

Number 474...
...Not to rob openly

So robbing behind closed doors is fine?

And I think that this is the Jewish term for marriage, "Keep the laws of the captive woman". You mean keep her in front of the kitchen sink?
(CdrVimes, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:40, closed)

*coughs*
"Not to erect a column in a public place of worship, Deut 16:22"
...
no wanking in church then?
(Freak on a Leash is jerking off to centre himself on, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:46, closed)

72
Already have 4 tattoos =/

Does number 60 and number 1 cancel out?

I'm also struggling with 599.

I'd make a rubbish Jew :(
(DeactivateThisDisaster No., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:51, closed)

69 - Men must not shave with a razor
What the fuck am I supposed to shave with? Bad language?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:20, closed)

94
Would probably have me running for the hills. What the fuck does "Afflict thyself" mean?

Actually, I don't want to know.
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:38, closed)

Oh and
191 is just terrifying. Under what circumstances would you need a commandment to prevent it?!
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:41, closed)

72
see my last post
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:46, closed)