Fuck my Time Lady flange
but this is a parlous state of affairs and no mistake.

Shuldno't there be a Christmas-related QOTW? Fox ache?

Anyway here is a Christmas poeaaam for all youse sweetiez, enjoye!

Dear Santa

I don’t care about Christmas trees or snow
Crackers or carols or mistletoe
Or chestnuts roasting on an open fire
This season, I only have one desire:

All I want for Christmas is Bangkok Bang Bus Volume 22
But failing that, Fuck Truck 3 would do
Or maybe European Teen Blowjob Queen
Or Inter-Racial Facials Volume 17

I don’t give a shit that Jesus Christ is born –
Dear Santa, BRING ME PORN!

A bundle of back issues of Anal Sweethearts magazine
A cavalcade of barely legal shaven haven teens
Cum craving cock gobbling cougar MILF whores –
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, for sure!

I don’t give a fuck about the Nativity –
Dear Santa, BRING ME DEPRAVITY!

Desperate Grannies flashing their gash
Pregnant Asian hotties sucking cock for cash
A 30-minute Peter North cumshot compilation!
A squirting spectacular on female ejaculation!

Away in a manger, no crib for a bed
THREE JAPANESE SCHOOLGIRLS GIVING GREAT HEAD

Exploited Black Teens, Ron Jeremy’s Greatest Hits
Share My Wife, Cum Over My Best Friend’s Tits
German Goo Girls, Creampie Surprise
2 Girls 1 Cup, 1 Girl 3 Guys
British Amateur Bukkake Babes Volume 17!
BRITISH AMATEUR BUKKAKE BABES VOLUME 18!

I don’t give a fuck about the coming of the Lord –
Santa BRING ME PORN!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 22:02, 7 replies)

Any news yet?

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 18 Dec 2014, 20:45, 1 reply)

I made magic mushroom mead.
That mead made me mad.
Well by "mad" I mean sick.
It really was ick.
I didn't feel at all well.
In fact I felt like hell.
And that's the last time I'll ever follow a recipe from Blue Peter.
Here is some slightly rancid honey.
THE END.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 18 Dec 2014, 13:52, 4 replies)

morning

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 7:39, Reply)

I tried to make some homemade eggnog. I found a punnet of eggs but I couldn't find any black people as I live in Surrey

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 4:43, 3 replies)

I once had an idea that I brewed at home, it was for this to be this months question of the week
And then I thought...shit Fly how stupid do you have to be there are 4 calendar weeks in a month and this is QUESTION OF THE WEEK. FOR FUCKS SAKE! How busy is your week that you can't change a still, or a question? Yes it's Christmas in a week. Yes we should lighten up. But unless your entire family have died how hard is it to CHANGE THE FUCKING QUESTION?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 1:37, 3 replies)

When I was about 15
My girlfriend and I ran out of cheap cider. Looking around my room for pennies to take to the shops I notice the second ingredient of my bottle of mouthwash is alcohol (the first ingredient being water so it can't be that bad for me right?).
Cut to necking half the bottle (the lady was generous enough to forgo her round), followed almost immediately by excessive amounts of blue vomit for a heroic amount of time. Towards the end of the surge of upchuck I am vaguely aware of the vomit getting redder and more solid. At some point in my stomach the mouthwash transmuted into some kind of polystyrene-esque substance and was lacerating my throat as it made its bid for freedom.
( Jimminy_rickets was at Grills Gone Wild on, Wed 17 Dec 2014, 10:53, 5 replies)

Warm the damn jar!
I did a bit of brewing as a grad' student and generally it went well. After a while, we decided to branch out from beer to some more ambitious concoctions including a rather tasty spiced mead.

The recipe we had involved boiling the honey to sterilise it, then topping up the jar with boiling water. However, being a complete idiot, I didn't think of warming the jar before pouring in the boilig honey.

Four pounds of boiling, spice-infused honey has an interesting effect on a glass demijohn - it cracks the whole of the base off into a beautiful glass frisbee and, of course, spills vast quantities of sticky spicy goodness all over the kitchen floor! I don't know whether you have ever tried to mop up several pounds of hot honey but it's not an easy task. The kitchen smelled lovely for weeks, but you felt that if you ever stopped moving you might find yourself permanently bonded to the floor.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Tue 16 Dec 2014, 16:50, 3 replies)

Cock tuesday

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 16 Dec 2014, 8:32, 5 replies)

I got wasted in Soho.
And then sausaged.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 16 Dec 2014, 2:11, 3 replies)

My absinthe kit
my kit

I will begin making this tomorrow. I must say the bag of green does look smokeable.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 16 Dec 2014, 0:58, Reply)