I've been making me own beer and cider for years
when I moved to london a sarth efrican mate in wimbledon told me he had an apple tree and a lot of apples that were going to waste lying on the ground. I took two huge duffle bags and headed out across town to fill them up. They were that fucking heavy once full, I'd reckon each one was at least 50 kilos. Now I'm a big strong bloke, but I reckon getting those bags home was the hardest most physical thing I've ever done. I didn't think I'd make it to the end of the street, let alone, catch three trains and walk a couple of miles with them. It was a stupid, painful torture and it almost fucked my back. I had deep bruising on my shoulders where the straps had cut in.
When I got the home I found my cheap juicer I bought at Currys had to be cleaned after each apple so it took forever to juice up.
I'm normally generous with my homebrew, that's if I can get anyone else brave enough to touch it. But I was buggered if was going to let other people have some of me cider. My wife would offer it to people at parties, usually after all the regular piss had been drunk, but I wasn't having it. "They can have the stout, or even my wheat beer, but not that. I sweated blood for that cider"
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 7 Dec 2014, 11:42, 21 replies)

a hundred kilos of apples. of course you carried that volume of apples in a duffle bags.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sun 7 Dec 2014, 13:32, closed)

Don't be mean. He's a big, strong bloke, didnt you read it?

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Sun 7 Dec 2014, 13:43, closed)

a big strong bloke who has never lifted 100 kilos.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sun 7 Dec 2014, 13:54, closed)

it's only a hundred bags of sugar.

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Sun 7 Dec 2014, 14:36, closed)

It might just be because you're puny that you can't imagine someone lifting 100kg
But to give you a comparitive example, I travel semi-regularly to brazil where the economy checked baggage limit is 2 32kg bags. On top of this i'll stuff my carryon with books, so I reckon at times Im carrying at least 80kg, such as from car park to checkin, possibly more. Ive actually moved house twice by doing this, rather than pay the exhorbitant shipping costs. Those apples were considerably heavier. 100kg was my low estimate, girly-man.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 7 Dec 2014, 21:38, closed)

To begin with I was more interested in the volume, that is I know what a 100 kilos of apples look like.
As for me being a girly man, it is true. My genetic potential has not been achieved and I regret this.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sun 7 Dec 2014, 22:04, closed)

Sorry, I was just channelling my inner arnie. But now you're talking maths.
One of my bags was an MEC duffle bag I bought in Vancouver, similar to this, www.mec.ca/product/5030-442/mec-duffle-bag/?f=10+50590, with a volume of 115 litres. Now a standard bushel of apples is 2,150.42 cubic inches, and has a standard weight of 48 pounds. or 21 kilos for 35.23 litres. This means this bag could potentially hold 68kg of apples at maximum capacity. Now as these were large apples I'd expect it to have a slightly higher void volume on average, though having a mix of apple sizes actually decreases void volumes given some sorting. at least, this logic is true for grain packing in sand so I'd expect it to apply to apples
The other bag was a different model and slightly smaller. I carried one like a backpack, and the other across one shoulder. Given that they were both full of apples, I'd say my estimate of weight may have been on the low side.
But as I said, it was the most arduous bit of carrying I'd ever done. I was going about two houses then having to sit down and psych myself to do it again. Over and over again. It was motivated by me being a cheapskate, as paying money for a cab would defeat the economical attraction of homemade alcohol
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 1:28, closed)

now you can have a click. small recompense but it's the best I've got to offer.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 9:37, closed)

I once carried 140kg


on each eyelid.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 9:37, closed)

that's nearly a whole Honda Accord

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 11:01, closed)

I had to use one of my ears to move that.

( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 13:02, closed)

it's hard to find prostitutes that fat to sit on your face

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 23:08, closed)

Your mother was very obliging though.

( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Tue 9 Dec 2014, 14:04, closed)

touché

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 1:51, closed)

From "I made some cider from lots of apples, but didn't share it with anyone", to the volume of your sack,
via internet hardman.

Bravo!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 13:35, closed)

it was more for the "unnecessary suffering because I'm cheap" aspect rather than the "I have the strength of 20 men" boasting that I recalled it.
though I did noncepunch a copper on the way home
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 22:27, closed)

now that the internet hard man crust has been broached. I do dead lift 220kg for reps and squat 155kg but I got into lifting too late.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 9 Dec 2014, 21:49, closed)

I constantly carry around 1 ton of cock and bollocks.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 16:39, closed)

Bit homophobic mate.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 8 Dec 2014, 12:03, closed)

South Africans don't have any "mates".
CALLING SHENANIGANS RIGHT NOW!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 8 Dec 2014, 12:45, closed)

he had a run of bad luck
first kidneystones, then some metal splinter came through the window of the overland train and fucked his pupil(his eye, not his student). then he got a melanoma and died
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 22:30, closed)