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This is a question Home Science

Have you split the atom in your kitchen? Made your own fireworks? Fired a bacon rocket through your window?
We love home science experiments - tell us about your best, preferably with instructions.

Extra points for lost eyebrows / nasal hair / limbs

(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 17:25)
Pages: Popular, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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A better robot.
When I was a kid I could be regularly found in my ‘secret lab’ situated behind my wardrobe. With all the troubles in the World I had been pondering what I could do to help mankind better itself. I had recently watched Robocop and thought a cyborg policeman would be pretty awesome but I had to chuck that idea away as I had no half dead person on hand. I then considered the other star of the film ED209, now if I could make my own version but one that could actually navigate stairs without going arse over tit then I would be onto a sure-fire winner.

So I drew up the schematics, got the relevant materials I needed and got down to work. It took me several weeks of hard grafting but in the end I was triumphant and my BoB486 was ready. It stood in my lab all gleaming and looking quite awesome, I picked up the remote control all set to give it its first test run.

With much anticipation I slowly started to press the button that would start up BoB486 when ‘BOOOOOOM’ it exploded into a gazillion pieces. I was rooted to the spot startled, “What happened?” I said to myself barely able to conceive what I had just witnessed. My beautiful creation, gone, destroyed in a matter of moments. How could this be?

Then I heard it.

The laugh.

The girly laugh.

I realised that I should’ve known the moment BoB had exploded.

I turned round and there by the self destruct button I had made just in case BoB ran amok stood my sister.

“DEE-DEEEEeeeeee” I yelled.
(, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 11:20, 14 replies)
I like this.

(, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 11:38, closed)

this cock.
(, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 12:25, closed)

cock doing your mum up the wrong 'un because she pays me so well.
(, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 12:30, closed)
Does she still pay with biscuits?
As you need to start losing weight, tubby.
(, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 12:31, closed)
No. Crisp £50 notes which she irons special.

(, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 12:34, closed)
look, we keep telling you ...
... £50 notes are not made from crisps, whether ironed or not.
(, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 14:48, closed)
No. As in the paper of the £50 notes she gives me is crisp and pristine, due to it having been ironed.
Every time. With care.
(, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 15:26, closed)
The Great Vagabond tends to see everything in a food analogy.

(, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 15:49, closed)
The first three words of that sentence are absolutely superb.
Good work!
(, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 16:32, closed)
I know that posting bits of Star Wars is all the rage on qotw,
but even by that standard, this is piss-weak.
(, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 13:35, closed)
Is it a SW reference?
Christ - it went right over my head.

I feel such a fool!
(, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 14:30, closed)
Not a Star Wars reference.

(, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 14:41, closed)
I literally have no idea
what any of the above means....
(, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 14:53, closed)
Not sure
But could be Dexter's Lab?
(, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 13:39, closed)

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