The c*nt game
Can be played safely in public.
Invented by pit-orchestra musicians as an attempt to stave off suicide induced by having to listen to stage-school brats singing at full chest belt.
The game is quite simple, it's a variation on the 'substitute a word in a song title with the word c*nt' type deal.
Except, in this version, all you do is say the song title to someone else in the game who then has to mentally substitute the last word of the song title with the word c*nt.
This means that onlookers who are not in the game will be mystified when one of your colleagues is doubled up with laughter just because you've said the song title 'I've Grown Accustomed To Her Face' to them.
As with all games of this nature, timing is everything. My favourite was getting a trumpeter to screw up his solo by shouting 'Papa's Got A Brand New Bag' at him just as he took a deep breath before the first note.
(The Pink Strat Copy, Fri 2 Apr 2004, 14:25, Reply)

buying glastonbury tickets
well, it all started last night at 8pm, you pick up the phone and dial the ticket number and hear the engaged tone... press redial (and repeat

to add an extra element of fun and variation you can try the website. for this you open as many windows as possibly and cycle through them pressing refresh.

hours and hours of fun, with a great prize for the winner, you actually get some tickets... which is me hurrah!
(steels, Fri 2 Apr 2004, 14:17, Reply)

Chevette!
Played by myself and spouse. First person to spot a Vauxhall Chevette yells "Chevette!" as loudly as possible. Each Chevette gets 10 points.

First person to 100 points has to buy cream buns. Chevettes are increasingy rare, so no buns yet.
( Safetyfox, Fri 2 Apr 2004, 13:51, Reply)

More of a pub debate than a game but...
...we play "which bodily fluid is most revolting". Players must choose from blood, vomit, spit, semen, snot, pee-pee, shite (not technically a fluid except during a case of the runs) and pus and their various sub-categories.

Ideally, a consensus will be reached and the fluids will be ranked in order of vileness by closing time.
( TheGonk, Fri 2 Apr 2004, 13:45, Reply)

Mrs Mutton the Italian Freak of Nature
We had one customer we would play a game with each week - a very snotty Italian lady who outlined her mouth in black pen & had a bona fide David Dickinson tan. She drove a Ferrari and each saturday would come to our garage to Jet Wash it. In her Stilletos.

The game was "how many innapropriate items of clothing that Mrs Mutton (not her real name)would don for the grand Ferrari Jet-Wash.

I think the record was as follows:
1 Pair of extremely high and tottery stilletos
1 plaid miniskirt
1 frilly low cut lycra top exposing vast expanses of wrinkly sun damaged cleavage
2 Sainsbury's carrier bags over the top of stillettos to "protect them" I guess ?
1 Pair pink rubber gloves
1 Plastic shower cap (as found in hotel rooms)

Needless to say she provided hours of entertainment for both us and the queue of people paying for their fuel.
(Ariaxen, Fri 2 Apr 2004, 13:41, Reply)

smartie war
back in the day, when we were little and when to visit my granddad, he would give us a bag of smarties. And so evolved the game of smarties war, take two smarties and hold one on top of the other between your finger and thumb and squeeze. The first to crack or break is the loser and is eaten (if both are dropped or broken both are eaten) the winning smartie is then joined by a new smartie from the bag and they fight again. This continues until you have a champion smartie!! so much childish fun.
(fadge, Fri 2 Apr 2004, 13:37, Reply)

Zombies!
This is a game myself and friends played at a house party last weekend. It works best if you are drunk/stoned/both. You sit in a room with the door shut and the lights off, an empty plastic bottle close to hand. Wait until some unsuspecting soul opens the door and walks into the room. You all shout out "zombies!!!!!!!" and then hurl the empty bottle at the person. That had us in stitches for ages afterwards.
(Cletus, Fri 2 Apr 2004, 13:35, Reply)

Pass or fail?
Started back when my mate and I used to nip into town at school lunchtime, and ate our sandwiches on a bench in the centre. Still played to this day, 6 years later.

Simply, whenever you're in a place with lots of people walking past, decide whether they "pass or fail" according to their clothing and style - have they pulled off the look they're going for? Have fat people covered up their blubber appropriately, do they look like a computer nerd? Are they in need of help from Trinny and Susannah, etc, etc.

Endless fun. And very cruel.
(starfightingpolarbear, Fri 2 Apr 2004, 12:56, Reply)

Forecourt Bingo...
At the petrol station where i work (for an unspecified employer who recently bought a chain of overpriced supermarkets) we are now forced to to use the little tray/window/microphone after 8 o clock. This had led to the game of forecourt bingo, which essentially involves shouting rubbish over the tannoy system and scaring as many people as you can. Entertainmet for both staff and people at the bus stop.

Nothing at all to do with bingo.
(Predatory Sock, Fri 2 Apr 2004, 11:59, Reply)

The Duck Game
I invented the duck game which is a good game to play in parks. What you do is find a pond with ducks in. Then you each choose a duck and wait for it to dive. When it dives you count the seconds and the person who's duck dives longest wins. It's a game of great skill and ingenuity, especially when I'm winning. When I lose it's just a stupid game of chance.

It's a particularly good game to play with stupid people because they don't realise that only some sorts of ducks dive and keep picking non-diving ducks.

My favourite pond for the duck game is the one in Regents Park where there's a little bridge onto an island.
(duckgame, Fri 2 Apr 2004, 11:54, Reply)

hey ookizoo, we play that game with the plastic beer can rings
only we call it Wanker. The person left with the rings on their wrist is pointed at by all the other participants and we all shout WANKER!

its great
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 2 Apr 2004, 11:42, Reply)

Sneeky hair picking game
Me and my old mate Steve used to play a game in school when we sat at the back of are english class. The idea was to pick all the loose hairs off the girls in front of us backs without them knowing. There were no rules apart from you can't get caught, so hitting the others hand as they're about to pinch a hair resulting in them pinching the girl were all perfectly legal moves.
The game then advanced to trying to pinch hairs off our teachers arse as she would bend over to help people on the table next to us. If you were successful it resulted in automatic victory although the risk of one of us pinching her arse often stopped this happening very often.
Fun high pressure game for all to play.
( cooler_king That's no moon!, Fri 2 Apr 2004, 11:37, Reply)

Whose shit would you rather eat?
What you do is choose two famous or non famour people as randomly as possible. For example, Woody Allen & Angelina Jolie. Sit in pub. Debate which poo would be better to eat on the basis of whatever criteria you'd like to go for at the time.

Also: the most important question of all time: Would you rather eat Derek Jarman's crusty foreskin or a nice vanilla ice cream? Measure of a man, that question.
(Lord of the Pies, Fri 2 Apr 2004, 11:29, Reply)