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I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(

rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)

Pages: Latest, 63, 62, 61, 60, 59, ... 1

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Which political leader is going to win in the Winter Olympics?
Skier Starmer
(

unclepills, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 15:57, 1 reply, 12 hours ago)

What is a really dirty way of storing digital data?
On a seedy rom.
(

Octo I ruin everything., Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:32, Reply)

What has ICE officers' behaviour NOT been these past few days?
Pretti Goode.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Wed 28 Jan 2026, 2:51, Reply)

All apologies in advance but here’s the least hilarious one I know
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To go to a job interview at KFC, I hope he gets the job, he’s worked hard on his BTEC and GSCEs all year to go to KFC.

…

Yeah that was unfunny as hell, all apologies for what’s probably the worst joke you’ve read in your life.. Oopsie daisy.
(SillyMattPiez This piez can’t silly like no other, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 20:58, Reply)

Two photographers walk into a bar
The bartender says, "Hi. What kind of shots do you guys want to do?"
(DingoChavez I will be good. I will be good., Thu 22 Jan 2026, 1:34, Reply)

Did you hear about the angry sushi chef?
He was always losing his tempura.
(

Octo I ruin everything., Wed 21 Jan 2026, 16:08, Reply)

I visited Lisbon recently and asked him how the next Dusran Dusran album is getting along.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:25, Reply)

I visited Lisbon recently and went on the tram.
I had derailey good time
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 16:25, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)

I visited Lisbon recently and went to the Moorish quarter.
I've been wanting to go back ever since.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Mon 19 Jan 2026, 16:58, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)

Neil Diamond always liked to take a smooth cruise to Egypt. His favourite company to use for the occasion was the
Svelte Cairo Line
(

Octo I ruin everything., Tue 13 Jan 2026, 10:48, Reply)

Neil Diamond's favourite ever song lyric was written by Brett Anderson for his band's Christmas single.
Suede carol line
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 12 Jan 2026, 21:35, Reply)

Neil Diamond always enjoyed a refreshing drink after a show. He liked
Sweet carrot and lime.
(

Octo I ruin everything., Mon 12 Jan 2026, 19:07, Reply)

Neil Diamond loved his Volvo P1800S but good times never seemed too good until he fitted his aftermarket
Swede car alarm
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Mon 12 Jan 2026, 17:49, Reply)

which vegetable prevents it hurting when you hold it?
swede caroline
(piss and shit, Mon 12 Jan 2026, 8:10, 5 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)

Which vegetable is a real pain in the neck?
The carrotted artery.
(

Octo I ruin everything., Sun 11 Jan 2026, 21:18, Reply)

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs when he's in the sea?
Fucked.
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 11 Jan 2026, 1:13, 3 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)

For christmas my family gave me a recording they'd put together of all my whining and pleading for presents, plus a bit where I had a rant about christmas music
It was everything I'd asked for and more
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 Jan 2026, 21:00, Reply)

For Christmas the lead singer of the Police gave me a plastic container for watering plants. It was so good I was able to use it for refilling my car’s washer fluid too
Turns out, Sting’s can only got better
(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 Jan 2026, 17:40, 1 reply, 3 weeks ago)

For Christmas, Sean Connery got a stack of books about gaslighting by a z-list comedian, but he left his collection scattered on top of local garden boundaries made of bricks.
It wash on wallsh.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 6 Jan 2026, 13:16, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)

For Christmas I got a new torch, but I misplaced it
Took me 6 days but eventually I saw the light
(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 Jan 2026, 11:20, Reply)

I tried looking up "Eve teasing", a euphemism for sexual harassment of women but couldn't find it in the Oxford English Dictionary.
It was just in Collins!
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 6 Jan 2026, 9:27, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)

For Christmas I got a book on anger management
I lost it
(piss and shit, Tue 6 Jan 2026, 8:30, Reply)

For Christmas I got a new keyboard for my computer, but I dropped it during the unboxing
I almost lost Control
(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 Jan 2026, 8:03, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)

For Christmas this year my friends organised a blind date for me with a guy with a massive penis
it got me all choked up, I can tell you
(piss and shit, Tue 6 Jan 2026, 7:10, Reply)

For Christmas I got a voucher to go to an event, but none of the accompanying expenses such as travel and accommodation.
It was just the ticket.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 6 Jan 2026, 6:19, Reply)

For Christmas I got a very small part of the John Carpenter filmography collection.
It was just The Thing.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Mon 5 Jan 2026, 22:27, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)

For Christmas this year my family clubbed together and bought me a massive fan
it really blew me away
(piss and shit, Mon 5 Jan 2026, 21:48, Reply)

For Christmas I got a book on how to fix toilet issues using electrical current
It was a real shock to the cistern
(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 5 Jan 2026, 20:43, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)

For christmas i got a selection of reference books which contained only factual information.
You couldn't make it up.
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 Jan 2026, 19:31, Reply)

During Christmas I tried and failed to carry out computer fraud against my bank
I just couldn’t hack it
(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 5 Jan 2026, 15:54, Reply)

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