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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 49, 48, 47, 46, 45, ... 1

Tell Us Your Story »

Why couldn't the prime minister get hard when he met the queen?
Because she would bore his johnson.
(, Thu 21 Nov 2024, 0:28, Reply)
How do you stop yourself from thinking?
Start thwimming!
(, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 21:49, Reply)
What was Fred West's favourite 90s rap studio album?
Please Hammer Don't Hurt Em
(, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 13:25, Reply)
Archaeologists looking at cave paintings in France found some of the earliest depictions of rock slapping
Along with ancient pictographs of getting banned from the Oscars
(, Mon 11 Nov 2024, 8:09, Reply)
When Sleeping Beauty worked at Snappy Snaps
One day, her prints would come.
(, Sun 10 Nov 2024, 19:41, Reply)
I went shopping with Gloria Gaynor but it was a nightmare
She never could say, “Good buy”
(, Sat 9 Nov 2024, 21:15, Reply)
The Amazon driver that delivered my dildos was really creepy looking!
He gave me the Willies!
(, Fri 8 Nov 2024, 17:01, 1 reply, 1 week ago)
Which former Secretary of State for Defence of the United Kingdom is still alive and well?
Sir John. Nott!!
(, Fri 8 Nov 2024, 11:39, Reply)
Which recently-deceased record producer, songwiter, composer and arranger was a cunt?
Quimcy Jones!
(, Tue 5 Nov 2024, 13:48, Reply)
Which recently-deceased record producer, songwiter, composer and arranger suffered from peritonsillar abscesses?
Quinsy Jones!
(, Tue 5 Nov 2024, 12:53, Reply)
Which recently-deceased record producer, songwiter, composer and arranger was a hard, aromatic, bright golden-yellow fruit?
Quincey Jones!
(, Mon 4 Nov 2024, 10:12, Reply)
How is Kamala Harris like a patient that’s had a Frontal Lobotomy?
There is not a thing that comes to mind.
(, Sun 3 Nov 2024, 0:36, Reply)
What was Robert Louis Stevesons favourite cold war thriller?
The Day of the Jekyll
(, Sat 2 Nov 2024, 8:50, 2 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)
What's brown and sticky?
Ma hoop.
(, Thu 24 Oct 2024, 8:48, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)
why do people only have nightmares when they're not woke?

(, Wed 23 Oct 2024, 14:59, 4 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
Why is everyone who’s “WOKE” a fucking nightmare?

(, Sat 19 Oct 2024, 3:13, 9 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
Apologies in advance.
I've been turned on by the death of Liam Payne.
I've got a One Die-erection.
(, Thu 17 Oct 2024, 12:51, 2 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
What's a pornstars favourite historical novel?
Maybe Dick
(, Tue 15 Oct 2024, 19:53, Reply)
What's the best destination for a narcoleptics holiday?
Ayia Napa
(, Tue 15 Oct 2024, 13:35, Reply)
Count Dracula was actually known to be a very polite gentleman…
…but his neighbors thought he was a pain in the neck.
(, Mon 14 Oct 2024, 19:12, Reply)
Stayed with a landlady who insisted on staging German Epic Theatre every night.
Last time I use a Bed and Brecht last.
(, Mon 14 Oct 2024, 16:08, Reply)
What is the alter ego of Superman, one of the last and fastest tea clippers ever built, which later became a museum ship in London?
Cutty Sark Kent
(, Sun 13 Oct 2024, 23:53, Reply)
Which artist has a paintbrush that comes out of his hat on an extendable arm?
Paul Gaugaugadgetguin
(, Sun 13 Oct 2024, 23:42, Reply)
You’re Mum’s so old, fat, and nasty…
…She gave the ocean crabs!
(, Sat 12 Oct 2024, 23:46, Reply)
Which artist loves the beach?
Sandy Warhol
(, Sat 12 Oct 2024, 21:31, 2 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)
Did you hear about the tired and anxious shepherd?
He'd had a sheepless night.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 13:11, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)
I once went to a "Who can impersonate the lead man of The Heartbreakers the best" challenge
It was very Tom-Petty-tive.
(, Fri 4 Oct 2024, 10:09, 1 reply, 7 weeks ago)
One time John Lennon went to a doctor complaining of kidney stones…
…and the doctor said “Give Pees a Chance”…
(, Sun 29 Sep 2024, 5:55, 3 replies, latest was 7 weeks ago)
Why did Mossad hide explosives in the Lebanese Islamist fighter's pager?
To blow up Hezbollacks!
(, Thu 19 Sep 2024, 18:04, Reply)
Veterinary fertility scientists don't like to show a preference for any one area of study in their discipline
but they all know that the basis of canine spermatozoa production is the dog's bollocks
(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 22:36, Reply)

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