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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 60, 59, 58, 57, 56, 55, 54, 53, ... 1

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These wide legged trousers have been really comfy while working in livestock auctions.
Culottes?
No, mainly sheep.
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 7 Dec 2024, 10:15, Reply)
I've worn an old pair of trousers for the past month
but now I have thrown them away. They'd been on their last legs for a while.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Fri 6 Dec 2024, 18:18, Reply)
What kind of radiation detection device looks like a penis?
An H.R. Giger counter.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 3 Dec 2024, 15:47, Reply)
What is Sir Chris Hoy going to be in a year's time?
A speloton.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 3 Dec 2024, 6:39, 1 reply, 11 months ago)
Why don't skelatons fight each other?
Because they don't have the guts
(Shahim Sadakath, Sun 1 Dec 2024, 11:15, Reply)
I tell you what. Being homeless is not just hard.
It's fucking roofless.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Fri 22 Nov 2024, 16:51, Reply)
Why couldn't the prime minister get hard when he met the queen?
Because she would bore his johnson.
(I helped save b3ta! dbond, Thu 21 Nov 2024, 0:28, Reply)
How do you stop yourself from thinking?
Start thwimming!
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 17 Nov 2024, 21:49, Reply)
What was Fred West's favourite 90s rap studio album?
Please Hammer Don't Hurt Em
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Sun 17 Nov 2024, 13:25, 1 reply, 11 months ago)
Archaeologists looking at cave paintings in France found some of the earliest depictions of rock slapping
Along with ancient pictographs of getting banned from the Oscars
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 11 Nov 2024, 8:09, Reply)
When Sleeping Beauty worked at Snappy Snaps
One day, her prints would come.
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Sun 10 Nov 2024, 19:41, Reply)
I went shopping with Gloria Gaynor but it was a nightmare
She never could say, “Good buy”
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sat 9 Nov 2024, 21:15, Reply)
The Amazon driver that delivered my dildos was really creepy looking!
He gave me the Willies!
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 8 Nov 2024, 17:01, 1 reply, 1 year ago)
Which former Secretary of State for Defence of the United Kingdom is still alive and well?
Sir John. Nott!!
(Covid69 Boris variant., Fri 8 Nov 2024, 11:39, Reply)
Which recently-deceased record producer, songwiter, composer and arranger was a cunt?
Quimcy Jones!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 5 Nov 2024, 13:48, Reply)
Which recently-deceased record producer, songwiter, composer and arranger suffered from peritonsillar abscesses?
Quinsy Jones!
(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Tue 5 Nov 2024, 12:53, Reply)
Which recently-deceased record producer, songwiter, composer and arranger was a hard, aromatic, bright golden-yellow fruit?
Quincey Jones!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 4 Nov 2024, 10:12, Reply)
How is Kamala Harris like a patient that’s had a Frontal Lobotomy?
There is not a thing that comes to mind.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sun 3 Nov 2024, 0:36, Reply)
What was Robert Louis Stevesons favourite cold war thriller?
The Day of the Jekyll
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Sat 2 Nov 2024, 8:50, 2 replies, latest was 1 year ago)
What's brown and sticky?
Ma hoop.
(I helped save b3ta! Jimvin dropped plates on your arse at, Thu 24 Oct 2024, 8:48, 1 reply, 1 year ago)
why do people only have nightmares when they're not woke?

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Wed 23 Oct 2024, 14:59, 4 replies, latest was 1 year ago)
Why is everyone who’s “WOKE” a fucking nightmare?

(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 19 Oct 2024, 3:13, 9 replies, latest was 1 year ago)
Apologies in advance.
I've been turned on by the death of Liam Payne.
I've got a One Die-erection.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Thu 17 Oct 2024, 12:51, 2 replies, latest was 1 year ago)
What's a pornstars favourite historical novel?
Maybe Dick
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Tue 15 Oct 2024, 19:53, Reply)
What's the best destination for a narcoleptics holiday?
Ayia Napa
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Tue 15 Oct 2024, 13:35, Reply)
Count Dracula was actually known to be a very polite gentleman…
…but his neighbors thought he was a pain in the neck.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 14 Oct 2024, 19:12, Reply)
Stayed with a landlady who insisted on staging German Epic Theatre every night.
Last time I use a Bed and Brecht last.
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Mon 14 Oct 2024, 16:08, Reply)
What is the alter ego of Superman, one of the last and fastest tea clippers ever built, which later became a museum ship in London?
Cutty Sark Kent
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 13 Oct 2024, 23:53, Reply)
Which artist has a paintbrush that comes out of his hat on an extendable arm?
Paul Gaugaugadgetguin
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 13 Oct 2024, 23:42, Reply)

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