Cyclists.
For fuck's sake, you're a menace to everyone else and a danger to yourself. Get a PROPER fucking vehicle you bunch of lycra-clad cunts.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 20:46, 12 replies)

Yeah!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 22:21, closed)

As a cyclist,
I have to concur. The other day I was idly waiting at the lights when my front wheel slipped on a discarded Whopper wrapper, the brake cable snapped and the wheel burst free from its moorings, decapitating a gaggle of nearby pensioners and embedding itself in the unforgiving coldness of the tarmac, spinning with the curse of perpetual cycling motion until it bored down into the very core of the Earth and summoned forth a geyser of lava that vaporised an innocent bystander munching on his croissant on the overpass.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 22:32, closed)

Well at least you reported it.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 14 Oct 2013, 22:37, closed)

I'm reporting it now, anonymously.
At the time I fled the scene on my unicycle, which can be easily manufactured on the spot from all bicycles, as any fule kno.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 22:40, closed)

Unicycles are a leading cause of cancer.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 22:50, closed)

Good job my balls are clad in a protective sheath of lycra.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 22:52, closed)

hahaha

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 23:04, closed)

I thought this was true at first, then I realised "waiting at the lights"'

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 17 Oct 2013, 6:19, closed)

When I used to cycle
the lycra-clad cunts pissed me off too. I was stopped at a traffic light and a twat in his power ranger suit crashed into the back of me

"I'm sorry I was under the mistaken belief that you stop at a red light you lycra-clad cunt" I screamed at him

(then I whipped out my greasy cock and pissed all over him)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 8:55, closed)

The lycra-clad ones are merely having a mid-life crisis
but can't afford the sports car or traditional affair, so go twatting about on bikes instead.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 10:43, closed)

said bikes usually
cost about the same as a car and weigh as much as a bag of sugar because they are made from carbon and fairy wings and some rare alloy that is almost weightless but as strong as a tank or some such guff
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 10:50, closed)

It's not strong as a tank, you can snap it in two quite easily if you hit it at the right angle.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 11:22, closed)