fogbat,
im dyslexic so shhhhh
(gracie_likes_cookies, Thu 19 May 2005, 13:25, Reply)

Time and Plaice

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( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 19 May 2005, 13:12, Reply)

Being ID'd
I'm currently 27, this happened when I was 24..
Now I did look a about 20 at the time but that still no excuse for this.

And I swear its completely true!

I'm in Sainsburys with my then girlfriend, she's doing some shopping for her mum.
We get to the cheese counter and they have a little booth with samples of cheese! (I'm notorious for just going to the supermarket for the free samples).
I spot a lovely stilton with Apricots mmmmmm, so I ask for a sample..
"Are you 16?"
"Pardon?"
"Are you 16 love? we only give samples to under 16's if they are with there parents."
"But, I'm 24."
"Do you have any ID?"
"FOR CHEESE?!"

Not a word of a lie..
(Capt_Carl, Thu 19 May 2005, 13:11, Reply)

being a smoker Vs Being Fat
Why would anyone argue this point? Smoking is bad for your health and being overweight is bad for your health. We all know how easy it is to gain weight / get hooked on things but its bloody hard to break a habit.

So I say Good on anyone who is willing to do something about their self proclaimed short fallings. And if peope are happy with themsleves then that is fine too - not matter what values we place on weight / lung health.


Why don't you people get in the spirit of this site and stop being so fucking self righteous!!

Jeeez.
(smartcat, Thu 19 May 2005, 12:32, Reply)

In the bank, this morning
Me: Can I have a paying in slip please? I left my book at home.
Her: No. We don't give out blank paying in slips any more.
Me: So I can't pay this in (waves wad of currency)
Her: Not without a paying in slip.

I stomp back to the office under a cloud, annoyed at this new policy. I tell my boss, who laughs and sends me back to the bank armed with the right question to ask:

Me: Can you write my account number on a blank paying in slip and give it to me please?
Her: Certainly sir.

Nnnngh!
(Chumphry, Thu 19 May 2005, 11:55, Reply)

I work in a tax free shop at a British airport......
when a passenger wants to buy something, I have to put their flight number through the till (something to do with tax stuff). Most passengers don't carry their boarding cards (with flight numbers on).
Conversation goes like this :

Me: "Can I see your boarding card please?"
Passenger: "I don't have it with me."

Then they stand and look vacant, expecting me to do something about it.

Passenger: "Do I need it, I left it with my wife?"
Me: "I wouldn't have asked for it otherwise, Sir!"

Then I watch as they rush off trying and find their families that are lost in the chaos that is the departure lounge, cackling to myself as I flick through the flight scedule. Most of the time, they don't even come back.

No apoligies for width and height.
(Balron doesn't care how big his photos are, Thu 19 May 2005, 10:58, Reply)

Apologies to SafetyFox, and a thoroughly unpatronising well done.
But as for Jme, pah! Actually I do know a bit about nutrition - my sister's a nutritionist and she helped me formulate a diet to compliment the intensive exercise plan I used (which, funnily enough, was really hard work - picture falling off rowing machines, running out of the gym on legs that feel like jelly, to dry retch outside) to go from 14 stone, 17% bodyfat to 13stone 8, 4% bodyfat. She told me that in the vast majority of cases of obesity, the problem was usually just too much food. So, all in all, yeah I think that gives me some right to speak up on the matter. I only smoke occassionally, and am actually in favour of a smoking ban, as pubs in Ireland and New York are really nice! But I don't think obesity should be a taboo subject - if you can have a go at smokers then why can't you ask fat people to cut down on the pies...
(Sir Ian Blair, Thu 19 May 2005, 10:56, Reply)

Paying the internet bill
My Internet connection was cut off last year because I couldn't pay the bill in time. On the day it was due, my girlfriend told me to go to my bank and pay the tellers. It kind of sucks because they only speak Korean.

So I gave them the bill and the money. They stood around looking confused, so I produced my bank card, then my immigration card. Finally one of them told me I couldn't pay, so I asked why. She said "We don't think this is your bill."

Once again I showed my bank card, immigration card, and passport as well. Still no. "We don't think this is your bill."

I pointed to where it had my name written on the bill very clearly. Nope.

So I gave it to my girlfriend. She took it to a different bank in a different city, where they looked at it, took her money, and reconnected my Internet.

I'm still not sure why they wouldn't let me pay my own bill because they didn't think it was mine, but they would let my girlfriend pay my bill for me, even though it was very clearly not hers.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Thu 19 May 2005, 10:51, Reply)

Hey Time and Plaice
Guess what -- I did that and it worked -- just took me some time to summon up the will power. Now just gotta work on the smoking.

There's a clue in the very first sentence: 'A few years ago I was...'
( Safetyfox, Thu 19 May 2005, 10:46, Reply)

I want a new question
Is it jobsworthy to ask for one on thursday morning?
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Thu 19 May 2005, 10:44, Reply)

gracie_likes_cookies...
You're going to be a "policewomen"? How many?
(fogbat, Thu 19 May 2005, 10:36, Reply)

Spoonlord
I was asked for ID in Virgin Mega Store for the VIZ. It's a bit rude but it's not like it's hard core pron or anything.

The fact that im 29 years of age and got asked for ID from a fekking embryo for a magazine I bought on regular basis from said mega store is more than a tiny bit annoying.
(DryGoldfish, Thu 19 May 2005, 10:34, Reply)

Doctors
My doc says that she will not give me the cotraceptive pill after I am 35 if I do not give up smoking. Apparently it can cause heart disease... So I seem to have a choice here - either I pop out heaps of sprogs and smoke away, or give up smoking and stay skinny - a blucking paradox, cause when I give up smoking, I eat like a horse and then no-one wants to cork me cause I am a fatty!!! What to do, what to do.......
( sheraloonytunes, Thu 19 May 2005, 10:18, Reply)

Police...again
Im going to be a Policewomen, but after reading this im having second thoughts :(
(gracie_likes_cookies, Thu 19 May 2005, 10:17, Reply)

Not a dietician are you
Time and a Plaice?
Or even particularly broad minded? Ever think that maybe there are circumstances beyond your initial tiny understanding? You do realise that losing weight is an exceedingly hard thing to do once you've gained it? Eating less doesn't necessarily mean better.
And you say you're a smoker, so you're clearly no upstanding idolisation of will power/health are you? You compare public eating to public smoking - don't be so stupid. Somebody eating near you does you no damage whatsoever. Food doesn't fly off their plate into your cancer addled mouth.
The question is about Jobsworths, not about stupid people being unnecessarily mean to strangers.
If you've got something against larger people, keep it to yourself in future.
Here's an even simpler bit of maths for you to think about: you = a prick.
Arg, some people...
( jme, Thu 19 May 2005, 10:13, Reply)

Hahaha SafetyFox - You fat bastard!
"I read about a new diet pill, so, all other diets having failed" - how about eating less and doing some exercise you twunt! There's quite a simple sum you can do: Energy in - energy out = weight. If that number's positive, you put on weight. If it's negative, you lose weight. Ain't that smart? As a smoker, I think that when smokers aren't allowed to smoke in public, fat people shouldn't be allowed to eat in public either. People complain about passive smoke ruining their evening and making them ill. Well I don't like to spend my evening watching Fatty eat his egg and chips and quite often it makes me feel ill too.

Relevance I apologise for, but not size. That's Fatty's job.
(Sir Ian Blair, Thu 19 May 2005, 10:01, Reply)

Bouncers and Rozzers
Went to a club called Trash in Glasgow wearing a white RUGBY polo shirt with SRU logo on't, jeans and casual shoes. Bouncer (Donald Cheng, twat) stops me and says "No way mate. No colours in here". Thought for a mo, initially thinking, "Is it National Front night tonight and they're not allowing black people in?" and then, remembering I am in fact white, say "what do you mean?".
He says "No football colours"
I say, "They're not actually football colours, they're rugby colours. No one will want to start a fight".
He says "Still no colours. Fuck off".
2 of my mates, also wearing similar rugby team shirts were let in in the meantime and so I went to just walk in behind them. Bouncer grabs me by the scruff of the neck and throws me into the road, almost under a taxi. Cunt. The club has now burnt down, taking with it a neighbouring club and listed church building housing it. It was caused by staff! That'll teach the cunts!

As for cops, I've never met a bad polis officer in my life. I actually know a few very decent ones. In fact I've probably been let off with more than I should have, so leave them alone.
( Normanator Bad case of trapped wind since, Thu 19 May 2005, 9:58, Reply)

Jobsworth GP
A few years ago I was fatter than I wanted to be. I read about a new diet pill, so, all other diets having failed, I went to my GP to see if I could get some. He weighed and measured me, then we had the following conversation:

GP: Your body mass index isn't quite high enough for me to prescribe this drug. You'd need to be about half a stone heavier. Then you'd have to lose some weight without the drug to show you're committed to doing it.

Me: how much would I have to lose?

GP: about half a stone

Me: so, let me get this straight. I'd have to put on half a stone, then lose it again -- then you'd prescribe the drug?

GP: yes

Me: so can't we just pretend I've put on then lost half a stone?

GP: erm. No.
( Safetyfox, Thu 19 May 2005, 9:31, Reply)