I would normally post
About 4 yr old mini Osok and 16 month old charmer mini mini osok but I can't be fucked. I got made redundant today (despite a record-breaking year) and everyone can just fuck off.

Especially those Directors who were foolish enough to let their personal & bank details into my hands.

*Polishes shotgun*
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 21:55, 17 replies)

aw, mate!
Sympathies. Many, many sympathies. I hope things pick up soon.

(My doc signed me off work today on stress-related leave. And I have a killer hangover. The two are related.)

*borrows shotgun*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 22:05, closed)

Erk!
*pats osok sympathetically on the back*

*steps out of range of shotgun*

EDIT: *and hands CHCB some painkillers*
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 22:44, closed)

That is utterly cuntful
It would seem that one's performance has fuck-all to do with employment these days. Is there anything we can do to help? Apart from cunting your employers in the fuck?

Have a cyber hug from me petal. You must be destined for better things in life...

Txxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 23:13, closed)

Bugger
Both you and CHCB!

The world is fucked.

Everything is fucked.

I am fucked.

It has a lot to do with the wine I have consumed.

Osok - you will find a better job in no time at all - you're talented and wonderful.

CHCB - take some time out, you're fabulous and wonderful but you need a rest. The world is not ready for your wonderfulness.


I'm only a little pissed.

Love to you all.

xxx
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 23:25, closed)

Oh, you poor dears!
I wish you both the best of luck.

Osok: looking foward to your future post of what you end up doing with their personal and bank details.

...I mean, a made up story about what someone *might* do with such records that may or may not be in their possession, though obviously it wasn't you doing anything that might be construed as illegal. Yeah, something like that.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sat 19 Apr 2008, 2:59, closed)

Thanks Y'all
Status: hungover.
Ankle status: elephant's scrotum
Availability of correct drugs: Monday if I'm lucky
Car status: wing mirror broken overnight by scrotes unknown
Journey Status: A483 closed, hence major detour requiring lots of clutch pedal agony.

It's all so perfectly depressing I can't get the smile off my face*

Hey-ho, I've edited last nights drunken speeling, time to think of some amusing tales.

CHCB, chill. Think happy thoughts, such as slotting your entire faculty in a Columbine/West Virginia style**

Details of any putative revengeful actions that are wholly theoretical in nature, officer, may allegedly appear on a website near you.*** Mwahahahahahaha and all that.

EDIT: I also got a fucking speeding ticket last week as well. I haven't even SAID 'Jehovah'.


*may include elements of lie
** not a suggestion or incitement, just a pleasant fantasy suggestion
*** "I've got a little list, none of them would really be missed"

NIL CARBORUNDUM ILLEGITIMI (apols to Terry Pratchett)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 10:11, closed)

*echoes thanks*
hey osok, time off work = guilt free time on b3ta. The silver* lining, eh?

(*well, grey-ish)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 10:46, closed)

The only thing
That made working here bearable was 'tinternet surfing.

This may mean I'll have to get broadband at home now (shock) and try and stay soberish in the evenings (shockhorror).
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 11:27, closed)

I've got about 100
of those prescription painkillers made with paracetemol and heroin if it's of any help.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 13:17, closed)

^Madam M
If CHCB's hangover is that bad she must have been drinking that Irish stuff again to require 100 x CoCodamol (I assume).

If it's my throbbing appendage (ooeer, just for Tourette's) you're referring to, it's Diclofenic I need to get the swelling down. Frozen peas aren't what they used to be. I'll have to settle for Ibuprofen and Whisky until Monday.

Ta anyway!
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 14:38, closed)

Don't do it osok!
Shooting directors personal and bank details achieves nothing! Shit in a paper bag, put it on their doorstep, set it on fire, ring the doorbell and run away. It makes me feel better every time (as well as regular).
( betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:56, closed)

aaawww, poor thing!
i'm sure you'll get another job in no time. until then, alcohol helps to cheer you up and dull ankle pains. speaking of ankle, have you tried a compression bandage? they're far from perfect, but they'll make it easier to walk on.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 3:27, closed)

Double erk
ankle is now the size of a badger's ballbag. The directors should be running for the undergrowth (they hired me knowing my red-mist tendencies)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 21:40, closed)

sorry to hear it
my workplace is rather grim at the moment, too. just got rid of 170 people (almost 25 per cent of the staff). about half were voluntary severance/retirements and the rest, um, weren't. and it's always the wrong fucking people who take the voluntary severance packages, too. best wishes to you and your little ones.
cheers,
tuqueboy
p.s. put the gun down, son. the aresholes aren't worth it.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 4:58, closed)

Well...
There is a website called creditsafe, you may have heard of it.

If you can access that, or get a friend to, anyone listed as a director of the company has to give their home address, so it can be proven the company is not dodgy.

With any luck, you'll be lighting dog shit on the doorstep in no time!

EDIT - www.creditsafeuk.com/
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 9:59, closed)

dog shit bags are good.
but i prefer just to pee through their letter box in the dead of night.

then they wake up to the smell

hahahahhahahaha
(works well after beer)
(The Ear-Trumpet Addicting is NOT a word., Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:45, closed)

^^^^^^^^
Works better after asparagus.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Apr 2008, 12:29, closed)