Lying to oneself.
A colleague of mine is forever complaining that she just cannot lose weight. (She wants a baby and obesity decreases the chance of conceiving a considerable amount) ''I just cannot lose weight, I'v even been on the slimfast diet and NOTHING happened.'' The blob sobs. I mentioned that she had a double bacon cheeseburger for Breakfast so maybe she is not trying as well as she could be. ''Its because dieting doesn't work for me, I'v just given up on it. I'm getting a gastric bypass...no other way''. I don't mention her weight...not my business. However it gets ever so annoying every other day listening to her tell me how she's ''just not eating very well at the moment....only had scrambled eggs all day...sometimes do you feel to sick to eat? I do I only had a sandwich and coke yesterday.''
I went to hers for boxing day between her and her fella consumed a WHOLE three bird roast AND a joint of lamb. (what they didn't eat lunch time put in a butty with mayonnaise and gobbled up for tea) The sickening, sweaty sack of swill.
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Sun 11 Mar 2012, 18:39, 15 replies)

If she's such a horrible fat twat what were you doing round there Boxing Day?
(paisleypiglet, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 19:35, closed)

this is what i was thinking
this shezam person seems awful two faced, if i had a friend who was overwieght i think i would oike to tell them instead of being mean about them behind there back on a messageboard

shame on you shezam, you fat friended shitecunt
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 21:41, closed)

I did
I 'I mentioned that she had a double bacon cheeseburger for Breakfast so maybe she is not trying as well as she could be.' You can't really do more than that.
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:11, closed)

it's water retention
it's me metabolism
it's the wrong time of the month.

No, it's the pies you fat fucking failure!

these people drive me mad.
(Hansdown, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 20:47, closed)

I'm a fat bastard
See it works on several levels - my mum and father weren't married when I was born, I'm about 20 kg. overweight (because I drink too much piss, eat so-so and apart from work don't exercise) and I can be a real cunt when I want to be.
EDIT: I've still got a 6-pack - it's just got another half a carton sitting on top of it.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 12 Mar 2012, 9:07, closed)

thermodynamics
Im sure science is being defeated by these McFatfails.
(resistanceisfutile, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 20:57, closed)

Have you fucked her yet?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 11 Mar 2012, 21:12, closed)

I'm sure theres a weight restriction on scissoring.

(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:12, closed)

You just like the fatty, culinary, sweaty 3 ways don'tcha?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 11 Mar 2012, 21:42, closed)

This is your friend eh? Chinny rekon you fat mentalist

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 23:44, closed)

She probably shouldn't have kids anyway
Why not leave the odd Mars Bar on her desk by mistake.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 9:48, closed)

Ha, yes, hating the fat...
... it's the best, especially when they hit that cycle of self-loathing where they alternately weep and eat, because those are the only two activities which momentarily stave off their desire to kill themselves for being so fat and disgusting and basically offensive to all the right thinking people who are inherently superior and would never allow themselves to exceed their daily calorie intake. They should put those fat bastards into concentration camps and feed them on water and wafers, just so you don't have to look at them any more.
(rampants, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 11:25, closed)

you're fat too aren't you.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:10, closed)

most b3tans are..
Judging by the bash pics.

Ok some are. These are the ones who can leave the house anyway.
(skgorsky, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:05, closed)

When there was a 'make fat people useful'
image challenge, many kicked of about it.
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:36, closed)