fucking call centres - pea
I didn’t bother learning to drive till I was 26. I had a Vauxhall Nova for the first year or so after I passed my test until it was pointed out to me that at my age I could probably get something with a bit more poke and not have to sell one of my kidneys to afford the insurance.

So I bought a bright red MK11 Toyota MR2, some say ‘girls car’ some say it’s 'a bit wanky' but as far as I was concerned it was great fun. Decent amount of power, rear wheel drive mid-engined two seater. Cool.

The insurance however was not as hassle free as I had hoped. I called a number of companies and was getting well pissed off after a while. One company took absolutely ages taking all manner of pedantic details only to drop my call after placing me on hold. A complete bloody waste of my time.

So I called them back.

“Hello RipOff BloodyRacket Insurance, Vapid Bint speaking how can I help you?”
“Yeah I’d like a quote please”
“Certainly can you tell me the make and model sir”
“Toyota MR2”
“Engine capacity sir”
“2 litre”
“Is that a two door sir?”
“Erm no, it’s got four”
“Sorry sir our system tells me that is a two door car sir”

(Why they bother asking you these questions when they already have the bloody details in ‘the system’ was one of the things that had been bugging me)

“No, it’s got four doors”
“And it’s definitely a Toyota MR2 sir? Are you sure it’s not a Celica”
“It’s an MR2 it’s got 4 doors. Anyway a Celica is a girl’s car”
“My husband drives a Celica sir”
“Is he a girl?”
“Sorry sir”
“Your husband – is he a girl?”
“Certainly not”
“Well he drives a girl’s car, anyway its definitely got four doors – my door, the other door, the boot door and the glove box door”

Silence…

“…erm we would regard that as a two door car sir”
“Fair enough, so do I get a discount for having less doors?”
“No, I doesn’t work that way. Have you made any modifications to the vehicle sir?”
“Yeah I put new mats in it”
“That’s not really a modification is it sir”
“Yes it is. The other ones were crap, they kept catching on my shoes”
“(sigh) have you made any modifications to the engine, exhaust, wheels or suspension sir?”
“Nope”
“Ok sir so...”
“Hang on, there’s that thing in the middle bit”
“The middle bit sir?”
“Yeah you know between the seats – next to the stick thing that’s not the gears”
“You mean the handbrake sir”
“Whatever”
“Can you describe the modification please sir”
“Well it’s got these lights on it”
“Yes sir…”
“And some dials”
“What’s it called sir?”
“It’s a flux capacitor”
“Can you spell that please?
“Sure – f l u x c a p a c i t o r”
“Sorry sir I’m not getting that on my system is it an in car entertainment device”
“Not really”
“What does it actually do sir?”
“It creates a temporary disruption in the space time continuum by exerting quantum effects on semi classical gravity thus subverting the chronological protection conjecture to permit non linear motion through time”
“Sorry”
“It’s a time machine”
CLICK…..
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 11:59, 18 replies)

You're a prick.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:38, closed)

I like the look of the older MR2s but I had always assumed they were driving by irritating pricks.
Thank you for confirming my suspicions
(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 13:54, closed)

You sure taught them a lesson they won't forget in a hurry.
(Amberleaf, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:52, closed)

Cor, I bet you were laughing to yourself for HOURS afterwards.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 20:15, closed)

Jeez
There's some miserable fucks on here recently.
(boarders You won't catch me with my trousers, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 20:50, closed)

You'll need the password to join.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 9 Oct 2013, 23:00, closed)

a-l-r-i-g-h-t

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 0:01, closed)

Interesting trivia:
In France it's called an M2, because MR2 would be pronounced very similarly to their word for shit (em-air-deux - merde).

Also it is a girls car, and there's no such thing as a Mk11.
(Eukanuba, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 21:52, closed)

Oh hi there!
Do you have a spare fluid link for a Type 93?
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 22:19, closed)

I preferred this to your list above
and also the photo you posted above.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 22:30, closed)

haha, yeah, it's fun to take the piss out of people on the phone who can't answer back as they desire because they could lose their jobs
haha, yeah, those people are so stupid haha
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 8:51, closed)

Yeah, you know, stealing Jeremy Clarkson's thing doesn't really work.
Because he's not that funny either.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 10 Oct 2013, 9:16, closed)

interesting
to see how much QOTW has changed

replies to original post seem spookily devoid of trolling cunts

b3ta.com/questions/callcentres/post514693
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 10:31, closed)

it's not trolling if you actually are a prick

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 10:39, closed)

Wait, you post a story where you're being a trolling pick to someone working in a call centre and then get upset about being called a trolling prick?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 10 Oct 2013, 10:54, closed)

They all sound like right cunts, I'm glad they're dead

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 11:10, closed)

Also, how the fuck is this relevant to the question?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 11:11, closed)

Everyone in that thread is a deplorable cunt.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 11:49, closed)