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This is a question Lurid Work Stories

"I know a railwayman of 40-odd years' service," says Juan Quar, "and he tells me a new gruesome yarn each time we meet. Last week's was of checking the time on the wristwatch of a severed arm he'd just collected after a track fatality."

Tell us the horrible stories you tease the new hires with, or that you've been told.
NB By definition, these are probably all made up. Roll with it

(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Thu 5 Sep 2013, 17:33)
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I had a wank in the bogs at the office once.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 5 Sep 2013, 21:01, 9 replies)
"I have a cry-wank in the bogs at the office every day."
Fixed that for you.
(McChinaman banned, Thu 5 Sep 2013, 21:13, closed)
Typical LIEmallow.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Sep 2013, 22:16, closed)
Good job you work from home.

(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 5 Sep 2013, 22:30, closed)
only once?

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 9:18, closed)
I quite like my colleagues.
But it's never occurred to me to achieve sexual gratification in the miasma of their bowel movements. Am I odd?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 9:38, closed)
Slightly

(I helped save b3ta! skullfunkerry In case of implosion do not look into implosion, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 11:53, closed)
Dangerwank!

(I helped save b3ta! skullfunkerry In case of implosion do not look into implosion, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 12:31, closed)
Only if you don't lock the door.

(I helped save b3ta! mugwump In summary then, oh no. Chris., Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:06, closed)
Or
Do it at the urinals
(unclestinky, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 22:37, closed)

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