Playing in a (good) orchestra
requires one's emotions/ awareness be open like a mainsail, ready to catch the slightest, most subtle of nuances; a never-ending breath of a note from twenty violins sounding perfectly as one; a beautifully executed phrase from a solo flute gracefully, flawlessly handed to the bassoon; a tutti pianissimo with the power to calm the most violent of storms.

I recall the performance where for the duration (hour and a 1/2), due to an unexpected error by an oboist, my stifled laughter had me in the heights of regularly recurring waves of simultaneous giddy pleasure combined with an enforced, necessary, painful and rocking silence; placing me exactly in the middle of the desire to have it never end and the desire to be able to breathe, let alone see.

The oboists's error was a simple lack of concentration due to his extreme dislike of the conductor. The concert order had been changed - the first piece (with the loud opening) had been swapped with the second (with the soft). The ensuing result of his distraction was like... picture the most beautiful of English countryside settings, green, soft, gentle... with a single, solitary, half-second Harpo Marx car-horn like solo. Fortissimo.
(roysin, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 13:19, 11 replies)

marvellous!
I shall read that again later, just before bedtime
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 14:07, closed)

I guess
you had to be there.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 14:55, closed)

Well, yes
I had signed a contract.
(roysin, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 15:12, closed)

Great riposte!
Wasted here.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 15:47, closed)

Badum-tsch!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 16:34, closed)

haha
Winner!
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 23:03, closed)

My conductor used to tell the story of a gong player
who stopped paying attention during an opera. He suddenly looked up to see the conductor motioning to him to be ready for the loud strike of the gong at the very end of the beautiful love scene that was approaching. However he took not as a warning but as an actual cue and struck the gong for all his worth.

Everyone froze, including the opera singers on stage, in the middle of the most passionate, quiet love scene and stared at him. Not knowing what to do, he simple shouted out "Diner is served!" and left.
(ab1kenobe, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 15:35, closed)

I love it!
Love to pass it on, if you don't mind?
(roysin, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 15:41, closed)

Falling down
A friend of mine played percussion in an orchestra touring Austria. She was right at the back, and therefore top, of steeply raked seating for the musicians. Two staircases led to the top, at the end of one of which were the tubular bells.

At one point she had to come in with a bit of bellage. With the first wallop, the string holding them broke and the entire set went cartwheeling end-over-end down the stairs. Apparently it is quite difficult for an orchestra to maintain concentration when that happens.
(ubergeekian, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 20:35, closed)

What the fuck
are you doing on this site?
(yourmumonastickwithmintsauce, Sat 8 Dec 2012, 21:55, closed)

I was in a wind quintet a few years ago
We had an arrangement of the Peer Gynt suite, and the bassoonist was breaking in a new reed.
So we start the gorgeous piece and (with a slight sounding delay) the bassoon goes: "BuuuWAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!"
It was beautiful...
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Sun 9 Dec 2012, 9:32, closed)