Who says the French aren't funny?
When I was about 11 or 12, I went on holiday to France with my family. We were sitting outside a bistro, having our croissants and hot chocolate in a bowl, and it was all very exciting.

On the table next to us was a man, maybe in his 60s, with his very glamorous French wife. She had enormous hair, a fur coat, long painted nails, lots of perfume. She was a bit like a chubby Cruella De Vil. On her knee she was cradling a very small, very smug-looking pekingese dog, who also sported bouffant hair and long nails.

The lady said something to her husband, and passed him the dog. he stroked the dog's head for a bit, then looked up and noticed me and my sister watching him. So he made a comedy angry face, and mimed strangling its neck. This made me and my sister laugh, so he picked up an ashtray and pretended to beat it over the head, all the time maintaining an expression of crazed fury. We laughed even more, so he put the dog on the floor, and pretended to kick it repeatedly up its tiny arse. Unfortunately in his enthusiasm for entertaining me and my sister, he hadn't noticed that his wife had now returned from the bathroom, to witness him attacking her most loved possession. The scene reached a crescendo with the wife screaming at her husband and thwacking him over the head with his copy of Le Monde as he muttered his froggy apologies. Possibly my happiest moment.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 13:53, 11 replies)

I like this one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 13:54, closed)

^ what he said

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 14:01, closed)

^ What she said he said

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 14:59, closed)

^ What he said she said he said

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 15:55, closed)

No, it's the germans that aren't funny. The french are unclean.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 15:06, closed)

vous etes
une raciste massif monsieur
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 15:13, closed)

Horrible gender confusion.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 19:52, closed)

Brilliant

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 16:03, closed)

Would have been funnier
If you'd told us the wife had gone to the bog. I thought she was sitting there watching all the time.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 17:39, closed)

^ This.
Still funny, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 19:45, closed)

I like all of this.
This should probably win.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 19:36, closed)