West Yorkshire Metro Merry-go-round
Boarded the bus home from town yesterday around 3pm, put my shopping bag on the luggage rack at the front and squeezed down the bus to sit at the back.

Got home sans bag, fuck. Now normally I'd let it go but in the bag was a copy of inglorious bastards (3 quid) and me tea and I was buggered if I was going to pay twice as much again for food at the local shop so I set in motion a cunning plan to get it back, one which might just work.

I knew that the bus must turn round somewhere up the road and I knew it didn't have far to go before then. Computer was on so I consulted the timetable - here

I had 27 minutes before it was back round again hopefully with Brad Pitt, Christopher Waltz, Mann Kruger, Melanie Laurent and my chilli con carnie still on board. The stop was only 10 mins away and what's more the launderette was on the way, so if I was quick I could scamper down, toss the washing in the machine, set it running and still have time to pick up the bag as it came back around to the stop opposite the one I normally get off at.

Bit ambitious the launderette bit. I rounded the corner only to see the bus fly past on the opposite side of the street. But all was not lost - it still had MY orange Sainsbury bag resplendent in the luggage tray where the free papers usually go during the week. If it worked at one end maybe it could happen again at the other end. The return leg was much longer - it had to go out past Pudsey and that's practically in the next county - so I had time for the washing to finish and then dry.

With clothes clean dry and folded I set off again for the stop, eager to see the screen displaying the ETA of the next buses. 42 was due in 8 mins then another in 17, then another, then another. Three buses later It came it to view. It was my bus with my bag with my video and my tea and victory was in sight I got on, showed my pass and sat down, beside myself with joy.

But I can't get off at the next stop can I? Take it with me? Everyone's just seen me get on with my washing, the bus was full, the bag was obviously there when I got on. How could it possibly be mine? What did I do? - I waited till there was just me an a little old lady on board. I just wanted her to get off and quick. But no she went for the shopping, the little witch, started poking around in MY shopping bag. I had to do something. I got up and wrestled it out of grubby little hands sayinh "it's my shopping I'd left it on and had to wait and get on the bus when It came round again". I felt like I was going to die.

Messing With People's heads? - I'm going to do it again next week but this time I'm going to leave a tuba on board (or possibly a french horn) and I WILL get off at the next stop and I will play them all a fucking tune on it as the bus pulls away.

after all that the film was shit and the chilli had bones in it .
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 21:33, 13 replies)

Ready meal for one? Aww, bless.
You couldn't just get on the bus, explain to the driver, collect your shopping, then pick it up and disembark?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 22:21, closed)

Contact the transport company, ask them to call the driver.
Meet him at your stop on the return, he hands you the bag, off you go home to glow in your cleverness at resolving the situation and be lonely.
& what sort of a qotw story would that make?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 15 Jan 2012, 22:33, closed)

Something a lot easier to read, I think.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Sun 15 Jan 2012, 23:00, closed)

in what world is anyone in this country that efficient?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 23:43, closed)

I know, I know.
But hey it sure beats doing the laundry. Right?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 15 Jan 2012, 23:48, closed)

If only
we'd lost WWII.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:56, closed)

I knew someone who worked at the transport company in question.
They were once called by a bloke asking if they had found his cocaine on the bus and could he please have it back. Apparently the bus company obliged, but they did take along a few mates from West Yorkshire Police.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:43, closed)

Quick, change "West Yorkshire Metro" to "Transport for London" and alter the place names accordingly.
As if by magic, it'll then become a lot more interesting.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 23:44, closed)

its a good film
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 0:37, closed)

The 42 doesn't go out past Pudsey
It terminates in Farnley. I know, it's my bus.

But have a click anyway.
(Dildo Bugger destroyed a ring on, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 2:55, closed)

Why didn’t you just
tell the driver you’d left your shopping, take it then get off the bus again?
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:42, closed)

Wot, adult like?
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:02, closed)

Because I have learning difficulties
on account of the metal plate in my head
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:56, closed)