ouch
I was working in my lab the other day when one of the more attractive members of the department approached me. She's american and all curves and cleavage "tell me sittingduck me and (another unattainable sexbomb) were chatting about you the other day"
oh yes? threesome here we come?! said my mind
She went on..."and we decided that with your spiked hair and old band T-shirts you haven't changed how you dress since you went to University, are we right?"


ouch :(
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 3 May 2013, 11:10, 27 replies)

you should have done an acid attack on her face

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 3 May 2013, 11:25, closed)

If you failed at spinning that into a threesome you're too old to be having sex anyway.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 3 May 2013, 11:25, closed)

yes my cock has atrophied now

It's just a nub I piss out of
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 3 May 2013, 11:34, closed)

Steady on, Methuselah.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:04, closed)

come closer sonny
my ears are dim
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:31, closed)

Me, the day after I graduated I went out and bought elbow patches and slippers.
COME GET IT, LAYDEEZ
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 3 May 2013, 11:30, closed)

I get this occasionally
I just point to the fact that I can still wear the 28" waist trousers I wore at university too
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 3 May 2013, 11:47, closed)

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:05, closed)

I don't
but I can
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:03, closed)

Mr Quar's workmates reckon they can still fit into their wedding' trousers from years ago
but they wear them low, wedged under their huge guts. You could do that.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sat 4 May 2013, 14:13, closed)

Hit the bitch in the face.
With a hammer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 May 2013, 11:59, closed)

When all you've got is a hammer, everything looks like a prostitute.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 3 May 2013, 12:12, closed)

Please hammer, don't hurt 'em.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 3 May 2013, 12:20, closed)

what's that, hammer? you're sorry but they have to die?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 May 2013, 12:22, closed)

Did anyone else read this post in the style of 'The Monster Mash'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 May 2013, 12:22, closed)

Yep..

(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Fri 3 May 2013, 12:27, closed)

Hahahahahahaha no but I am now!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 3 May 2013, 12:31, closed)

Hahahah - perfect.

( Pig Bodine., Fri 3 May 2013, 12:36, closed)

10/10

( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 3 May 2013, 12:53, closed)

lolz
XD
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 3 May 2013, 12:53, closed)

oh wow :D

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:05, closed)

Everything is wonderful now.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:05, closed)

And this is why replies should be able to win.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:21, closed)

'and thats about the time she walked away from me- nobody likes you when you're twenty three'
do these lyrics still resonate despite being 13 years distant?
(magictorch, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:09, closed)

I got the Human League
Don't you want me.
(speedevil, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:21, closed)

How could you not?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:14, closed)

Meth lab?
That stuff will age you.
(Rsoles, Wed 8 May 2013, 20:21, closed)