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This is a question Misheard and Misunderstood

Rachelswipe says: My niece - after months of begging - was finally allowed to get a hamster, and her grandfather was utterly horrified to learn that it had been called "Nipples", a pretty good name for a pet if you ask us. Alas, it was only the more mundane "Nibbles" - what have you misheard or misunderstood, with truly hilarious consequences?

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 21:35)
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35 miles out of london?
you couldn't buy a shoebox in town, love.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:01, 1 reply)
still ... at least he isn't wasting chunks of his finite mortality sitting in traffic or cramped with the plebs on public transport

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:03, closed)
I cycle to work
and rent out a flat in Wimbledon.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:04, closed)
landlords let
tenants rent

also, wimbledon? hardly the royal borough.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:05, closed)
Fair enough
I bow to your greater expertise of the property sector.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:13, closed)
yesssss
internet victory. most important and pointful of all the victories.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:22, closed)
yes
walking to the corner shop to buy sticky and almost out-of-date battenburg slices must be so much more fulfilling
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:05, closed)
is this marshmallow-style random insult generation contagious or something?
I genuinely don't get it. Who is the audience?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:09, closed)
i just found your description of buying cakes for the plebs from the corner shop to be rather sad

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:10, closed)
I buy cakes for more junior colleagues.
I'm sorry this makes you sad. I buy their beer too.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:17, closed)
it made me sad, because corner shop cakes sound shit
but the beer thing makes you sound a bit... rapey.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:18, closed)
He goes into the off-license to buy beer and fags for them
and invites them round his house so they can use his playstation.

He's been doing it for years. All the local parents warn their kids not to go near him.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:24, closed)
some of them are closer in age to my kids
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:47, closed)
Just think of all that time you could have spent with them instead of spending night and day seven days a week on the internet.
Secretly they must be pleased that their dick dad steers clear of them.
(Your name: Board Sig:, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:51, closed)
someone has just brought in mini battenburgs here
i lol'd
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 13:37, closed)
I fucking love battenburg.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 13:42, closed)
urgh, marzipan
got to peel that bit off first
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:03, closed)
look ... the faux indignation and upset is one thing
but this ... this is just totally fucking unacceptable on a public messageboard
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:10, closed)
it's disgusting stuff
i have duly peeled it off the outside. the inside is... ok. bit soggy.

mr kipling angel slices are much better.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:14, closed)
jesus ... you really do like plebcake

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:27, closed)
i don't really like cake tbh
only lemon drizzle.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 16:36, closed)
what sort of overweight office clerk are you?
100!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 17:05, closed)
there are plenty of other fattening things other than cake
101!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 17:25, closed)
^Foodwrong^
/ac
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:14, closed)
They are a bit nasty
but the cartesian symmetry appeals to my inner autism.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:19, closed)
lemon drizzle or gtfo

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:21, closed)
It may taste nicer
but it doesn't have an inversion centre.

Unless the cakes I consume conform to certain symmetry operations, my family will die.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:28, closed)
there's nothing "inner" about this autism, is there?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:34, closed)
the corner shop sells lemon drizzle made by WI types
it comes in paper bags that are so impregnated with syrup that you have to prise them off the counter
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:34, closed)
you're revising my opinion of the corner shop now

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:34, closed)
It's Cambridge ... the 'corner shop' is a fair trade cooperative.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:40, closed)
You mean
food bank
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:53, closed)
I think the same group do run a food bank.
Some poor cunts are probably expecting tins of spaghetti hoops and getting organic spelt.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 15:40, closed)

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