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This is a question Misheard and Misunderstood

Rachelswipe says: My niece - after months of begging - was finally allowed to get a hamster, and her grandfather was utterly horrified to learn that it had been called "Nipples", a pretty good name for a pet if you ask us. Alas, it was only the more mundane "Nibbles" - what have you misheard or misunderstood, with truly hilarious consequences?

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 21:35)
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I was reliably assured that 'Great British Bake Off' was dramatic, compelling telly.
Turns out, it's a load of middle class people cooking, looking at, talking and crying about cakes.

Oh, and some puns even shitter than the ones on here.
It's like being at home, only on telly.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 19:40, 13 replies)
Who's head would you most like to crush in a vice:
Mel or Sue?
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 19:57, closed)
Which witch is which?

(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 20:04, closed)
I think Sue is the annoying munter with glasses
and Mel is the other annoying munter. I could be wrong.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 20:06, closed)
I wind the wife up by repeatedly calling it 'That lesbian propaganda show with cakes'
What larks!!
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 20:50, closed)
Reassuring to hear that you can still wind up the wife.
Many of us can't.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 29 Aug 2014, 21:34, closed)
Maybe you're inserting the key wrong?

(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 21:42, closed)
I didn't say that 'many of us' included me.
"My friend has this problem, doctor."
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 29 Aug 2014, 22:49, closed)
Why would you want to wind up his wife?
Seems a bit mean.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Sat 30 Aug 2014, 1:48, closed)
Please could you refrain from this homophobic behaviour?

(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sun 31 Aug 2014, 18:01, closed)
I just like looking at the cakes and going "ooh!"
and reveling in the schadenfreude when something inevitably goes wrong.
I also have a longstanding crush on Melanie Geidroyc.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 22:16, closed)
You
sick monkey.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 22:53, closed)
yet another mm/dozers cultural impasse

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Aug 2014, 23:08, closed)
To be fair,
I think about 75% of modern television could be summed up as "like being at home, only on telly".
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 30 Aug 2014, 3:02, closed)

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