b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Misheard and Misunderstood » Post 2359353 | Search
This is a question Misheard and Misunderstood

Rachelswipe says: My niece - after months of begging - was finally allowed to get a hamster, and her grandfather was utterly horrified to learn that it had been called "Nipples", a pretty good name for a pet if you ask us. Alas, it was only the more mundane "Nibbles" - what have you misheard or misunderstood, with truly hilarious consequences?

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 21:35)
Pages: Popular, 4, 3, 2, 1

« Go Back

When I was 18, I got my first job in a pub
After a few nights, I was starting to get the hang of it. Then this guy came in and said, "have you got any Flowers?"

What a retard, I thought. I looked around the bar, just to be sure. "There's a woman who comes in at about 9 most evenings, selling roses," I offered, promptly sealing my fate as the village idiot barmaid for the next 2 months...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Aug 2014, 12:13, 39 replies)
have you got any brains?

(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 31 Aug 2014, 13:06, closed)
you should get a bishop's finger inside you first

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 31 Aug 2014, 13:08, closed)
Teenage girl who doesn't drink bitter had never heard of a type of bitter
It's a shocking concept, I know. If he'd said "a pint of flowers" it wouldn't have happened. Not my fault. His fault.

And now yours.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 8:32, closed)
36 year old woman who doesn't drink bitter had never heard of a type of bitter
It's a shocking concept, I know. If he'd said "a pint of brains" it wouldn't have happened. Not my fault. His fault.

And now yours.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 8:45, closed)
is this a Zing? it looks like a Zing

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 8:58, closed)
no, the stoned hippy has just made a fool of himself by failing to read the story properly

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:30, closed)
"brains" is a type of beer, pet
/explainingjokesontheinternetsince1994
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:32, closed)
oh well, how could i be expected to know about a peasant's drink?
although you don't know tangles, clearly. if the beer wasn't brewed by 80 year old virgins from their own vaginal yeast by the light of the moon, then he won't have heard of it either, and was just band wagon jumping.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:37, closed)
ffs

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:50, closed)
oh god, you fancy a pint of it now, don't you

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:58, closed)
fuck off ... it's welsh

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:44, closed)

for the next 2 months
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 31 Aug 2014, 14:20, closed)
Brilliant

(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 31 Aug 2014, 14:37, closed)
True story (the below, not your depressingly predictable post)
It was gilgamesh's local.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Aug 2014, 14:44, closed)
Is gilga frank?
Or am I just a very confused young man?
(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 31 Aug 2014, 15:14, closed)
we're all frank ... deep down inside

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 10:52, closed)
if i can be frank for a minute
you are a cunt
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 15:23, closed)
imagine being considered the dim one in a pub with clients like that
sad times
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 31 Aug 2014, 16:49, closed)
They thought I was dead posh in there
I used to get accused of being there to study them for a social experiment (quite what that would have proven I have NO idea) and have "common people" sung at me :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 8:31, closed)
to be fair ... you do look almost exactly like Tim Nice But Dim

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 8:40, closed)
^ stalker ^

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:29, closed)
I used to work as a barman
I only fucked up when a couple of northerners came in, ordered fosters and I asked if they wanted the house double and if they wanted it neat or with a mixer.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Sun 31 Aug 2014, 19:40, closed)
Flowers is a bitter of last resort.
Like Ruddles, or Bass, you'll drink it because it's that or lager. Hard to imagine anyone asking for it by name.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 10:14, closed)
you've ramped up the attention-seeking lately.
found another grey hair?
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 18:01, closed)
fuck off
i didn't even mention how perky my tits were then
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 14:41, closed)
^grey hairs on her tits^

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 14:59, closed)
stop projecting, moobman

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 16:59, closed)
I have surprisingly hairless pecs.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 17:13, closed)
specs more like

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 17:41, closed)
why the hell would anybody have hairs on their spectacles? have you been on the gin?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 17:42, closed)
i was calling you a science geek
because i don't think we've done that one quite enough.

and no, i hate gin. devil spunk.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 18:35, closed)
SYMPATHY BAWBAGS

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:19, closed)
so sayeth
The cunt
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 12:24, closed)
you're sweet
have we fucked?

b3ta.com/users/searchposts.php?id=62658&board=qotw
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 12:30, closed)
there
Should be more there, some cunt has been going round deleting posts.
Poor little diddums deletes the posts that makes him cry.
Boo hoo
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 13:00, closed)
yeah ... dunno who you are but your entire online existence appears to revolve around being upset with me
either we've been intimate or you're a tragic fairholme wannabe
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 13:16, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Popular, 4, 3, 2, 1