I once made a tape for Legless.
It had The Macc Lads on it. And a local talent called Biff who wrote funny and rude songs. I did it coz Legless likes The Macc Lads. And he likes Biff. Only Biff is dead now but we still like him. I also did it coz Legless is a mate and I do nice things for mates coz I like them. People wot I do not like are not mates therefore I don't do nice things for them. I like Legless coz he likes things that are funny and rude. And I like things that are funny and rude. That's why me and my mate Legless are mates and why we like The Macc Lads because they are funny and rude. When Legless first introduced me to b3ta he showed me the Buffy Swearing keyboard. I liked this. It made me laugh coz it was funny and rude.

And I like my own pants coz they fit my bottom and somebody elses pants might not fit me if they have a different sized bottom to me. I like cotton pants or at least pants with a cotton GUSSET. (eeeoughk to that word)

If a T-shirt looks like the letter T, and Y-fronts have the letter Y on the front, then what does the G stand for in G-string?
Is it for "God, these pants are stuck up my arse!!" ?

That is my story this week the end.

*edit* p.s. the other reason that I like Legless and he's my mate is coz he's *special* and so am I and I like willies coz they are rude and funny and Legless has a willy coz he's a boy but I have never seen it coz he is a mate and it would be rude to look at a mate's willy even though I like them because they are rude and saying the word "willy" makes me laugh because I am rude that's why my mate Legless calls me Tourettes because I SWEAR ALOT because swearing is rude and funny :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 15:29, 25 replies)

Err
She's a lot more coherent in the flesh...

And a lot sweary-er.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 15:30, closed)

Awwww!
Pats Tourette's head.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 15:32, closed)

stalking
was soooooooooooooooo last week
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 15:45, closed)

The Macc Lads
Mutley drinks in my local and there is now a cover band called 'The Mocc Lads'. Sadly I got barred at the weekend (bloody columbians!)so I'm not allowed in now :(
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 15:45, closed)

I loves the Buffy sweary keyboard!
I think it's either z or x that has a really long protracted bout of swearing...in fact I think x is xylophone buggery, so probly z.

About G-strings - surely 'gooch' has to be a runner!?
(bacontrout got ska, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 15:47, closed)

I hope
that this isn't distracting you from making my tea, pet...

kidding. See you at 6.30. ish.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Feb 2008, 15:52, closed)

@spikeypickle
Davros's Granddad & I had a pint with Stez Sticks in Rothbury a few weeks ago. Rothbury is a very quaint little village, north of Newcastle (Robson Green also lives there but I wouldn't have a pint with him). There he was, married with grown kids, settled down in quiet village. Then we rolled in, swilling Boddies and had a sing-a-long with him. What fun. Do these tribute lads have a website or some way I could listen to them please?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 15:53, closed)

@BGB
If you pat my head I'm liable to lick you mind! ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 16:01, closed)

@bacontrout
"gooch"?? never heard of that one........ just thought of "gash" though lol
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 16:04, closed)

This post should win
This post should win every QOTW ever. *click*
(oeb, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 16:08, closed)

Gash pretty much nails it :)
Gooch = The area of skin between genitals and brown eye.

For advanced users, it can be used as an adjective, "I'm feeling a bit goochy", or an intransitive verb, "you've been fully gooched mate", or a common noun, "you have the gooch".

Market towns - stay away kids.
(bacontrout got ska, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 16:23, closed)

@oeb
aaaww, you made me go all red
*scuffs feet like small bashful child*
thank you :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 16:25, closed)

Gooch
Gooch is also a footballer on the Co. Kerry team here in Ireland. A Ginger one too!

www.rte.ie/sport/gaa/2006/1210/drcrokes.html
(oeb, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 16:36, closed)

OMG
oeb, that is amazing. And it's not even his name! I actually lol'd. If you knew the value (for want of a better word) that we put on this phrase, you'll understand why I'm bookmarking this and showing all my friends. I mean, the headline ffs.
(bacontrout got ska, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 16:40, closed)

Seriously
Google the term gooch and football or gooch and Kerry (On google.ie) You are likely to find wonderful headlines such as 'Kerry goes gooch mad' and the like.
(oeb, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 16:54, closed)

Ginger Gooch
LOFuckinL fuckin get on that one! Love it to sugary fuck (nicked that from Pooflake) I like "sugary fuck" because it is funny and rude and I like Pooflake's name because it is funny and rude and so is he the end.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 17:03, closed)

Ah, good old Biff
Biff was, indeed, a legend, and sorely missed.

Here’s his finest moment (sung to the tune of Vincent – you know, starry, starry night)

Skidded on some shite,
Banged me heed when ah fell doon
Ah’d been drinkin on the Toon,
Ah couldn’t see me cat boots for the mist

Must’ve been quite pissed

Ah didn’t even see the shite
That dark and misty twatful night,
When aal at once ah’m lyin on the ground

And ah broke my hand
Several stitches in me knee
Banged me heed off a fuckin tree
Just before ah hit the path
Well ah bent my glasses and smashed me watch
But ah couldn’t help but laugh

Skidded on some shite,
Me leather coat was thick o’ pap,
I even had some on me cap,
The worst scenario that I could pick

That’s when ah wuz sick

Me teeth got caught up in the spew
Next thing ah knew out they flew
To hide amongst the undergrowth so thick…

And ah broke my hand
Several stitches in me knee
Banged me heed off a fuckin tree
Just before ah hit the path
Well ah bent my glasses and smashed me watch
But ah couldn’t help but laugh

Isn’t life a bastard
When ya plastered in shite?
And if it wasn’t for my plight
On this misty twatful night,
I’d now be home tucked up and in my bed

But I’m seven miles from Pegswood
Ah stink of shit, it’s foggy
And ahm walking home instead

What a twatful night…
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Feb 2008, 17:05, closed)

I will click this...
For this is mainly how my train of thought works...

And also I loved it!

Swearing is rude and funny! FUCKING WANK-DUCKS! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 20:39, closed)

swearing is funny and rude and clever and big :o)
made a new one by accident yesterday whilst being assaulted by coats/hats/dyson/fucking cracked fuckstick of a laundry basket in the cupboard that should be under the stairs but we are non-conformists so ours is at the top of the stairs........

FUCKING JIZZ-BUCKET!!!!
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 23:15, closed)

Drunk
See, now I'm drunk, but I'm too shy to post on the main qotw board without a story. So you guys get to read my drunk message. YAY!
(oeb, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 2:12, closed)

Willy
The best thing about willies is that I have one. And if I did not have a willy then I could not pee pee. And if I did not pee pee I might explode. And then blood and pee pee would be on everyone and that may be funny and rude to see, but it would not be funny or rude to me. I think it might just hurt a little bit. And hurting (Even a little bit) is not that fun, unless it is hurting in that rude and fun way. Sometimes that is fun. Unless it hurts too much, then that is not that fun.

Thank you
bye bye
(oeb, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 2:16, closed)

3 cheers for willies! ^
Im glad you have a willy too, for all the reasons you said. Because if you explodedededed then you would not be able to write on b3ta and that would be sad because you seem to be funny and rude
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 9:44, closed)

fuck cunt wank shit!!

The macc lads are ace, many a student party was ruined / improved by a macc lads cd being discreetly slipped into the stereo :)
( WOLF .™, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 11:00, closed)

beer and sex and chips and gravy
is all a Macc Lad wants.......
Who else could make "George Michael" rhyme with "menstrual cycle"? Fucking dynamite :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 11:09, closed)

^^^^^^^
As a lad from Macc I totally agree with the above comment. All we want is beer and sex and chips and gravy.

We also like drugs.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 11:21, closed)