Eh, kids are boring
The best bit about having kids is that you get to buy Lego for them. Or, as me and the missus discovered when she had a little windfall from work in Argos vouchers, you can skip having kids and just buy the Lego for yourself.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 8:33, 3 replies)

+ to shove up the vaginas of ugly girls.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 8:41, closed)

*cricket applause*

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 10:00, closed)

You wait all day for an ignorant, mouth-breathing prick
and then two turn up at once
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 14:12, closed)

Three.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 14:15, closed)

wait, can i be in this gang?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 5 Feb 2013, 14:40, closed)

Everyone is welcome in the 'Emvee exploits ugly vulnerable women' club!

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 18:34, closed)

Clicking this.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:01, closed)

Yeah you guys! EmVee's right!
You're just ignorant! There is no evidence to suggest that witless spastic EmV here has a predilection toward stuffing kids toys up the stinking, kippery gashes of mongoloid looking sluts with self-esteem issues. No evidence at all. Apart from that frankly disturbing website of his that's chock fucking full of it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 14:43, closed)

Hey, he's extremely well-regarded amongst the mongoloid looking sluts with self-esteem issues community!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 14:45, closed)

I like nothing more than sitting down with a nice tissue and looking at that site.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 14:46, closed)

It's not in my top ten of sites that require tissues for perusal

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 14:56, closed)

To mop up the vomit?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 18:25, closed)

I'm still a bit disturbed by that one that looks like Woodside.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 18:25, closed)

Which one's that then.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 18:35, closed)

Nice try, I'm not going back there and you can't fucking make me.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:02, closed)

You're making it up just to provoke a response, aren't you.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:05, closed)

If only this were the case.
If only.

:(
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:13, closed)

Ummm ... no'ffence like.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:14, closed)

They seem to be either small and skinny, or obese.
As I am neither, and none of them have square faces or slowly receding hairlines, I can only conclude our Bryan's been taking crack.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:20, closed)

And sticking toys up it.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:26, closed)

Ha!

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:27, closed)

Oh well played.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 9:26, closed)

It's like watching
flies buzzing around a fresh, steaming dog shit.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 5 Feb 2013, 23:17, closed)

thanks for your contribution, you massive weeping manbaby.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 12:09, closed)

uberclick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 14:39, closed)

If this wins then balance will be restored in the universe.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:13, closed)

What are you talking about, you fucking turd?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 14:51, closed)

Argos vouchers - truly the currency of dreams...

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 15:34, closed)

Imagine all that lovely Lizzie Duke jewellery you could get yourself

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 15:39, closed)

Hence Lego
as there's fuck-all else we really wanted from Argos
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 15:41, closed)

really wanted didn't already have
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 18:24, closed)

That's brilliant
That's brilliantYou're a moron
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:03, closed)

hold up there, you're the one that a) considers Argos vouchers some sort of 'windfall' and b) thinks Lego in fannies is somehow sexy...

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:11, closed)

Leave the poor fuck alone, you awful bully.
It's not his fault that everything about him is utterly tragic and loathsome.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:15, closed)

Yes. It is.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:15, closed)

Yeah.
Fair point.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:15, closed)

You're almost half-right, which must make a nice change for you
a) We got about £120 to spend - Argos vouchers are how Mazuma Mobile pay when you send old handsets to them, apparently - which I'd consider to be, as I described it in the original post, a "little windfall". It's no great shakes, but it's better than a poke in the eye.
b) I don't think I've ever even seen someone with a toy in their fanny that wasn't explicitly designed for that purpose. The tumblr's called "I left my toys out", not "I shoved my toys in". You're all the ones talking about women with Lego up their clunges and I'm supposed to be the one with the problem? Sure, I suppose that would make sense if you're retarded.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:46, closed)

The more defensive you get about this the less tragic it appears.
Honest.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 19:49, closed)

You must have chosen Argos vouchers
because you have the choice of Cash (Cheque), Cash (Bank Transfer) and Argos Vouchers

So rather than having real money you chose to have your £120 in vouchers to get things from the laminated book of dreams
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 11:58, closed)

Good detective work here.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 12:08, closed)

Just sold a handset
for cash. Fuck Argos
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 13:24, closed)

Magnificent detective work there
It's almost as if you were too stupid to read my original post which stated quite clearly that we got the vouchers from my girlfriend's work, as in I had absolutely nothing to do with the transaction between the company and the phone recyclers. We got given Argos vouchers and we spent them on Lego. Presumably, and I'm just guessing here, but perhaps the people she works for thought that vouchers would be more easily transferable to an employee they wanted to give a little bonus than a cheque or bank transfer that would have gone straight into the company account?

Fucking hell, since when did qotw become a circle jerk of morons congratulating each other on how badly they've misunderstood basic fucking English? Do you have to go somewhere to get lobotomised or what?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 22:06, closed)

sorry, all I could hear there was 'abloo bloo bloo the internets is MEAN'

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 3:03, closed)

That's right, keep telling yourself you're being mean
"Mean" in this case being spelt "t-h-i-c-k a-s a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e f-u-c-k"
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 7:55, closed)

hang on though, you're the only one who mentioned mazuma mobile.
I fear you may have out-spasticated yourself, here.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 8:52, closed)