A bowling ball
Previous answered removed due to brutish narrow mindedness in regards to sexual play amongst close friends... (or is that just jealousy?)

Ahem.

So, a bowling ball. A purple bowling ball weighing approximately 10kg. Theived from a bowling alley by a very trashed girl and gifted to a rather good friend of mine, in the middle of a tube train on the Victoria line for his 30th birthday. It was meant to be returned, but as far as I'm aware, it's still gathering dust in the corner of his living room.
( Bathory, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 8:32, 57 replies)

I don't see why you should have to remove stuff because people are offended.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 30 Apr 2012, 9:13, closed)

They didn't .
They removed it because /talk ARE MEAN!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Apr 2012, 9:20, closed)

So, you FLOUNCED.
And now you feel the need to tell EVERYONE that you're a FLOUNCING spastic.
I take it that this is because /talk ARE MEAN! Although the real reason is that you're a flailing spastic shitcunt mong autism crybaby.
If you weren't here already I'd tell you to FUCK OFF BACK TO QOTW.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Apr 2012, 9:18, closed)

did you upset the poor thing stuj?
I read its story, seems very proud of being a degenerate drug addict.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Apr 2012, 9:22, closed)

but Windy Pig, they were all so ATTRACTIVE
that makes it ok to have sex with 3 men at once in front of a video camera

because there were drugs, and they were ATTRACTIVE
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 9:23, closed)

sickrik could probably help us with this sort of conundrum.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Apr 2012, 9:29, closed)

Where the hell is that Oompa Loompa when he's needed?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Apr 2012, 9:30, closed)

I dont know The LOVELY Win Pug.
I've never been anything other than LOVELY to the autisms, so I don't think it was me that made the cum-starved slut cry.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Apr 2012, 9:23, closed)

No I think it was me.
Bathory you have to admit that "a four way" really generally does describe consensual sex between 4 adults.
Trying to claim it was just fooling around kinda lessens the experience for us.
And 3 blokes to 1 girly to me is never a good ratio. But that's just me & my narrow-mindedness.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 30 Apr 2012, 11:00, closed)

Stop bullying the autism!
BAD rofy!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Apr 2012, 11:06, closed)

Classic flounce
You'll get more stick now than you did before.
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 11:57, closed)

I will?
WAAAHHH QOTW ARE MEAN!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:48, closed)

Not you
The group sexer
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 19:14, closed)

but I want to talk about why you had sex with 3 men in front of a video camera and then told the internet about it
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah :''''((((((((((((((((
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 9:21, closed)

also, "GIFTED"?
you utter shit
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 9:22, closed)

She mis-spelt it.
She meant "gived".
( sanityclause is waiting until, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 13:00, closed)

Wait, it's a drug-abusing cum-drunk slut you say?
We should really be pandering this one.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Apr 2012, 9:25, closed)

Hello.
You appear to have very low self esteem. Understandably.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 9:33, closed)

^this

(skgorsky, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 9:35, closed)

That's ok.
Because it has boobs.
I like boobs.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Apr 2012, 9:35, closed)

It's ok, I'm here now.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 10:52, closed)

HURRAH FOR THE LOVELY CHOMPY!
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Apr 2012, 10:57, closed)

You're such a needy fat mess

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 11:45, closed)

Purple eh?
The AMF bog-standard purple house ball is 10lb, not 10Kg. Bowling balls only go up to 16lb.
(Nicklock, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:40, closed)

Oh.
You bully!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 30 Apr 2012, 12:42, closed)

fucks sake, someone always has to go too far

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 13:25, closed)

Did you look that up, or do you just have a bowling fetish? It was purple. With three big holes.

...Still talking about the bowling ball, yes...
( Bathory, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 16:06, closed)

Nice
deflection.

From someone who either lies or tries desperately to cover up the truth. This is top Clintonism (& I don't mean George).
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 1 May 2012, 11:07, closed)

dear me,
A train full of born again christian fundy virgins appears to have arrived!!
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 13:55, closed)

You take up a whole train?
Eat less food you fat fucking mess.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Apr 2012, 13:59, closed)

i was glad he came along to whiteknight bathory and show us all what fundamental christians we were
i'll feel a lot better tonight when i'm having sex with 3 men in front of a camera high on drugs
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:09, closed)

See I'm not sure why he even feels the urge to white knight her.
I mean all he's got to do is give her some drugs and bring a couple of friends over.
Oh right, I see his problem. Friends.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:13, closed)

Er, I wasn't the one off my tits on the ketamine, that was the bowling ball thief. Don't see the big attraction of ketamine.

And I didn't say I was shagging 3 blokes. Could have been 3 blokes and me watching! I'll leave that bit up to the imagination. Not everyone is straight, not everyone is vanilla and not all friendships have to be white picket fence. And some people get to have fun with more than just their own hands in front of a computer screen. I'm just glad to be enjoying my life right now. Got to enjoy yourself at least a few times. And if that is by having safe sexual fun between close friends then so be it - it's better than going out and having risky one night stands with strangers like the vast majority of others seem to.
Still - one of the best mementos of a night out that I've come home with! I had fun, that's all that matters, right?
As for the bowling balls weight, pft. It was heavy. Purple and heavy. You can place bets on how much it weighed and I'll ask the owner to check if you really want!
( Bathory, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 16:02, closed)

cheers Bathory, I was on your side the whole time
I couldn't believe it when that NickLock started making weight jokes, its almost like he read the bullimia and anorexia stuff in your profile and did it on purpose
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 16:12, closed)

Shrugs, I'm used to it. Thick skin and all. Prob all the fat. I certainly am somewhat softer around the middle now, hah.
( Bathory, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 16:18, closed)

Either that or it's all that cum.
( Bathory, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 16:27, closed)

are you a bloke? i'm hoping you're a bloke

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 16:32, closed)

It's a chunky bird Q
Who wants everyone to know, especially all her bullys and tormentors from school that she's made it, three blokes who she vaguely knows stuck their cocks up her shitpipe at once, leaving her emancipated, and with some occasional scratching below.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 16:44, closed)

You're just jealous because you wanted three blokes you vaguely know to stick their cocks up your shitpipe
and let's face it, you've never been emancipated in your life
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 1 May 2012, 14:44, closed)

Busted.
( Bathory, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 16:45, closed)

So now you're saying that instead of a 4 way with you as the cheese in a 3 meat sandwich,
you flicked your bean whilst watching 3 guys suck-off, bum-fuck & perform hand shandys with each other.

My, that's taking fag-haggery to a whole new level.
Hey - my sex life with the missus is neither vanilla nor picket fences. But it sure as fuck isn't anything you've tried to describe.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 1 May 2012, 8:31, closed)

i stuck a fruit pastille lolly up my bum once

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 1 May 2012, 9:48, closed)

Haha, I'm never going to divulge the content now! You can just guess and imagine.

And fruit pastille lolly? You wuss. Try a Rocket lolly. They have ridges. Or a Feast - they're studded!
( Bathory, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:06, closed)

Ooooohh.
So mysterious.
There's only so many combos my dear & if you were a drunk girly - none of them look particularly good.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 1 May 2012, 11:10, closed)

I didn't realise that what consenting adults get up to in their spare time had to impress and arouse people beyond those who were involved in it, especially strangers on the internet. Fucksocks. Next time I shall make sure to consult arousing situation guru, ROF, before I try anything sexually subversive.
( Bathory, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:30, closed)

So.
3 guys, 1 cunt then.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 1 May 2012, 13:15, closed)

^ Sorry, I don't do requests, and it was just a one off. You're out of luck there, Sir.
( Bathory, Tue 1 May 2012, 13:21, closed)

Not enough condoms/antibacterial lube
in the world.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 2 May 2012, 0:31, closed)

[insert gag about availability of small condoms here]..etc.

Reminds me of that scene in Cabin Fever with the guy pouring Listerine over his cock after fucking the decomposing woman. Nasty.
( Bathory, Wed 2 May 2012, 7:02, closed)

that sounds really sexy, i think i tried to watch that film once but it wasn't very good

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 2 May 2012, 9:38, closed)

Needs more boobs.
( Bathory, Wed 2 May 2012, 9:40, closed)

I am issuing a B3ta-wide bollocking as you all failed to screen grab this post.
1/10. Must try harder.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 7:34, closed)

Haha, all the original post contained was admitting to my souvenir of a home made video of me and my partner with two of our good male friends. Apparently that's too much for the b3taboys to handle, especially as one of the friends had been gifted a bowling ball as a birthday present, by a girl who was utterly twatted on Ketamine, who we then had to escort home to sleep it off.
( Bathory, Wed 2 May 2012, 8:43, closed)

STOP SAYING FUCKING GIFTED YOU PRICK

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 2 May 2012, 9:37, closed)

Don't
Like the word "Gifted" either, the rest of the evening sounded fun though, apart from the ketamine, but I'm from an agricultural area, they've been doing it for years around here...
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:01, closed)

gifted is what you are when you're a disruptive little shit who can do some maths

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:10, closed)

Certainly not my cup of tea. It just doesn't look enjoyable to be paralysed and away with the faries. If I wanted to go off in my own little world, I'd go home and lock the door. Tried it once, nothing worth writing home about. Wouldn't bother again. But then like you, grew up in horsey-country, and now work with animals, so don't really link it with having a good time.
( Bathory, Thu 3 May 2012, 12:50, closed)