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"Moving house is one the more stressful moments in life," claims Social Hand Grenade. What horrible things have happened to you as you shift your black bin bag of undies from one hovel to the next?
( , Tue 6 Jan 2015, 13:17)
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...to his new flat. He'd done it properly, hired a van, and when we arrived at the new place we agreed that he would carry the boxes, and I would carry the bin bags. Each bin bag weighed a ton, and there were 10 or 11 of them. The new flat was up four steep flights of stairs, and I was in a bad way by the time I got to the 8th bag. I tripped and the bag split, scattering a very large number of well-thumbed Razzles, Mayfairs, Clubs and Men Onlys all the way back to the doorway.
It turned out that every one of these bags was devoted to his collection of pornography, and when I refused to carry any more he flew into a rage and refused to give me my reward pint and packet of crisps.
( , Tue 6 Jan 2015, 15:25, 11 replies)
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i helped my friend move into her university house in the shittiest part of birmingham (and there is a lot of competition for that title). this was around the time austin powers came out, and as i arrived at the new house in my car, i saw her walking around the corner from her old house, carrying a lot of stuff.
"i'm still alive," she panted in a terrible fake egyptian accent. "but very badly burdened."
you had to be there, but i've typed it now, and you love it, you dirty slags.
( , Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:43, closed)
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( , Tue 6 Jan 2015, 20:12, closed)
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They won't.
The whole point about them BEING softcore means that none of the stuff that is now being declared illegal in the UK was ever IN those mags to begin with.
( , Wed 7 Jan 2015, 0:08, closed)
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my thinking was that someone who loved porn so much would have moved on to harder stuff because the internet has made the mags obsolete and the range of stuff online would have expanded his interests which would now be denied blah blah blah blah.
but i'm not going to lie to you, i didn't exactly put much thought into that thinking. maybe he still goes to argos to lovingly steal the laminated pages of the shower screen section, who knows.
( , Wed 7 Jan 2015, 10:40, closed)
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He could still get utter filth from anywhere else in the world and wank himself senseless.
( , Wed 7 Jan 2015, 11:18, closed)
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You should try for a job writing articles for the Daily Mail. I'm not sure where you'd fit in best though, BAN ALL PORN articles for the "Out Of Our Minds" section, or, ALL GROWN UP, WEARING KILLER HEELS, REVEALING SWIMSUIT, LOOKS OLDER THAN HER YEARS blurb for the "Sidebar Of Shame".
( , Wed 7 Jan 2015, 16:04, closed)
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but I'd make no claims that we were in anyway funny. Your friend would have fit right in.
( , Wed 7 Jan 2015, 9:55, closed)
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