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Labour leader Ed Miliband recently dashed into the middle of a road to save a fallen cyclist. Who has come to your rescue? Have you ever been the rescuer?
( , Thu 9 May 2013, 13:29)
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Back in 2000 when I was 23 and still drove like an arse I was involved in a car accident I had slowed to 80 to take a corner a red Seat Toledo appeared in the middle of the road from a hidden dip. I swerved to avoid her clipped the grass verge and fishtailed down the road. I remember at the time thinking to myself that it was going to be expensive to fix just before the car dug itself into the ditch pirouetted on its nose and continued down the road backwards. As it pirouetted I remember thinking that this was it.
Anyway car comes to a halt and I see the 3 or 4 cars I had overtaken at speed earlier all stopped with their drivers and all running towards me. I got out with horrific back pain (maybe I should have sat and not moved) A guy offered to take me to the hospital, home and let me use his phone to contact the insurance. He could have said “Me and my mates what to take you to our dungeon and grape you” I would have said yes and my brain didn’t work well. We headed back to his place and his wife was there. She made me a cup of tea and let me phone the insurance. He punched well above his weight she was lovely.
After that it was off to hospital for an x-ray, some industrial strength painkillers and2 hours of boredom laying on a bed while your wired to the moon.
I can’t remember the guys name but he lived in Crosshouse and had a hot wife. I dropped off a bottle of whiskey and some flowers the next day. Thanks for looking after and not raping me.
( , Tue 14 May 2013, 10:04, 17 replies)
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...it's "you're wired" not "your wired"
( , Tue 14 May 2013, 10:16, closed)
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( , Tue 14 May 2013, 11:05, closed)
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poor wickle BraynDedd isth sthamping histh ickle wickle feets
( , Tue 14 May 2013, 11:15, closed)
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when you're trying to emulate having a gigantic fucking chin.
( , Tue 14 May 2013, 11:19, closed)
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I'm sure you think it makes you an internet hero but you're coming across as an obsessive chin fetishist.
( , Tue 14 May 2013, 17:01, closed)
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He's probably a chinless inbred.
( , Tue 14 May 2013, 17:22, closed)
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Also, what's the word for someone who can't pwonounth their "R"s?
( , Tue 14 May 2013, 12:30, closed)
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and blurts out "Help! GRAPE!"
The desk sergeant gives her a bemused look and, treading carefully, says "Don't you mean "Rape!", madam?"
The woman replies, "No, there were a bunch of them."
(C) Ye Olde Tirede Jokes Home
( , Tue 14 May 2013, 11:57, closed)
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