Looks like it's oven-baked green legumes for dinner.
This really happened.
I've been driven in 4 wheel drive cars most of my childhood - kinda a necessity in Zambia.

About 11 years ago I bought MY first fourby (4x4=4 by 4=fourby) - a Toyota Landcruiser FJ60 (I forget the year). Something like this with aluminum bull-bar and runner boards for $4000.

It was a beauty, dualfuel on autogas and petrol. Very cheap for such a lumbering beast.

Now. I had never driven my own car before when I had been fourby-ing in the past so I really didn't know much about prepping the vehicle etc.

So. My neighbour and I decided to head down to 1 of the local beaches to do some fishing. In my new fourby. On the sand.
Off we went, I drove down the ramp onto the sand no problems and then we dropped a line in and cracked a beer.

No fucking bites apart from blowies about an hour later so we packed up and jumped into the car. I put it in reverse, eased the pedal slowly and within seconds I was pretty much up to the rear axles.
Out we get and scratch our heads. Further up the beach is another bloke fishing with his teenage son. I walked up and asked them if he could give us a tow. He asked me if I had my tyres down - the lesser pressure gives the tyres more surface area on the sand. I told him yes, and then he asked if I had a pump. I looked at him quizzically and dug out the bike-tyre foot pump I had in tool chest. He managed to stifle a giggle and told me I could use his to re-pressurise my tyres once I hit bitumen.
He got his car backed up and got out his snatch-strap (fnar). Then he said these immortal, ego-crushing, "You're a n00b" inducing words -
"Have you got the wheel-locks on?"
"What wheel-locks?" I replied.

He then showed me the front wheel-locks (on "Free"), shifted them to "Lock" and told me I was good to go. He got his car out of the way and I pretty much effortlessly backed off the beach and onto the ramp.
He & his son had the decency not to laugh at me. We used his battery operated compressor to re-inflate my tyres and off we went. I offered to buy him a few beers but without laughing in my face he refused but strongly suggested that I go to a 4x4 training course.

My Father's Day presents that year were a Haynes manual for my car, a cigarette lighter sourced tyre compressor & a snatch-strap.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 15 May 2013, 9:24, 37 replies)

tl;dr: so so lonely

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 May 2013, 10:00, closed)

Maybe not spending hours on the computer making pointless,
snide comments to other peoples posts (especially those that you have chosen to put on ignore) and spending a bit of time with your wife and children might remedy this loneliness that you speak of.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 15 May 2013, 10:05, closed)

Hahahahahahaha yeah
Yeah hahahahahaha
Hahahahahahahah
Ahahahahaha
Hahahaha
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 15 May 2013, 10:07, closed)

alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 15 May 2013, 10:09, closed)

*steps back, gets away, gives the brother some room*

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 15 May 2013, 12:44, closed)

alright Outkast

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 15 May 2013, 18:20, closed)

Please kill yourself.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 May 2013, 10:10, closed)

To the /mailus mobile.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 15 May 2013, 10:13, closed)

Cry some more you pathetic needy wanker.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 15 May 2013, 10:45, closed)

Ahh, look it's Chinny in da huzooows.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 15 May 2013, 11:06, closed)

I hope this is ironic
Otherwise what we have here is a pathetic needy wanker who does nothing but cry exhibiting his complete lack of self-awareness
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 15 May 2013, 15:34, closed)

We DEFFO need lessons on self-awareness from Bumfluff McLego.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 May 2013, 15:45, closed)

Oh christ are we about to enter a recursive loop of hoping the previous post is ironic?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 15 May 2013, 15:49, closed)

I doubt it
Frankly I'm not even sure you have the IQ to comprehend irony
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 15 May 2013, 16:08, closed)

PSEUDO-INTELLECTUAL SNOBBERY!

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 15 May 2013, 16:12, closed)

I love it when one of the *cough* high achievers gets all interletcheral.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 May 2013, 16:16, closed)

I like how he's trying to be all high brow and acting like he's above all this while simultaneously getting upset in a thread that he deliberately involved himself in.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 15 May 2013, 16:19, closed)

Justified I think, Alanis

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 15 May 2013, 16:16, closed)

Lol, you so mad.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 15 May 2013, 16:18, closed)

If you can't think of a comeback, you probably shouldn't bother

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 15 May 2013, 17:37, closed)

metalols
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 May 2013, 18:14, closed)

*something about cruising the seafront for blowies*

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 May 2013, 11:06, closed)

b3ta.com/questions/blazingignorance/post1716694
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 15 May 2013, 11:57, closed)

Yes, I know,
but who could resist?
I don't want to know what you use a "snatch-strap" for.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 May 2013, 12:46, closed)

for securing his fleshlight to his barbie pyjama case, of course.
durr.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 15 May 2013, 14:26, closed)

All this time, I was shagging supermodels.
Man, I feel such a fool...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 May 2013, 15:07, closed)

I'm not sure
what you've included a picture of such an ugly car for...?
(An Alien sneezed on Bill Oddies binoculars, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:00, closed)

Having to explain makes me feel a bit like I'm bullying the mong at recess at school.
Something like this with aluminum bull-bar and runner boards
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 16 May 2013, 0:45, closed)